QUOTES FROM GLITTER-GRAPHICS

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WHAT'S YOUR PARENTING STYLE

When it comes to
Shaping Their Character

You're
Specific Whether you're an earth mother or a PTA president (or both!), you're very concerned with setting specific expectations for your kids' behavior. You do this both by telling them what to do and acting as a role model, and, in general, you expect them to follow your careful guidance. As a parent, you think you should be very actively involved in fostering your children's growth, which includes determining what activities they should engage in – sports, tutoring, music, chores, art, yoga, whatever. When it comes to everything from family meals to manners and morals, you know what's best.

When it comes to
Making the Rules
You're

Democratic Your family's a democracy when it comes to setting rules and expectations. Above all, you're a flexible parent; you recognize that sometimes you have to adjust your standards according to circumstances. You prefer to have open discussions with your children about manners and morals and encourage them to discuss their feelings about family rules and restrictions. You'll always try to admit it to your kids when you make a mistake.
Strict No doubt about it: You're strict! In your opinion, kids need to be told what to do and how to do it. The approach you take to discipline is firm and direct. That's what's best for your kids, since being firm helps them understand who the boss is, and helps them respect and obey the important rules you establish. When your kids step out of line, you make sure there's an appropriate punishment - not that you enjoy punishing them, and you try never to be too harsh (or too lenient, for that matter). Parents who answered like you indicate that sometimes, spanking is an appropriate form of discipline.

When it comes to
Enforcing Discipline
You're

Strict
No doubt about it: You're strict! In your opinion, kids need to be told what to do and how to do it. The approach you take to discipline is firm and direct. That's what's best for your kids, since being firm helps them understand who the boss is, and helps them respect and obey the important rules you establish. When your kids step out of line, you make sure there's an appropriate punishment - not that you enjoy punishing them, and you try never to be too harsh (or too lenient, for that matter). Parents who answered like you indicate that sometimes, spanking is an appropriate form of discipline.

IS IT OKEY TO SPANK????

• 94% of 3- and 4-year-olds have been spanked at least once during the past year, according to one study.

• 74% of mothers believe spanking is acceptable for kids ages 1 to 3, says another study.

• 61% of parents condone spanking as a "regular form of punishment" for young children, according to a different study.

Clearly, the majority of parents say they spank their kids. Various factors increase the likelihood, including geographic location (children in the South are spanked the most), family income (less money means more spanking), race (African-American mothers spank their children more than other ethnic groups), and religion (parents more fundamentalist in their religious beliefs spank more than those who are less so). But all in all, it's a pretty clear picture.

Meanwhile, for decades a long and distinguished list of experts has denounced spanking as ineffective, even dangerous. Ineffective, they say, because it only teaches a child to fear his parents, not to respect them, and dangerous because using force can injure a child and warp his understanding of how to interact with others: namely, that it's okay to hit someone to get your own way. And experts warn that children who have this antisocial lesson beaten into them are more likely to exhibit violent behavior later in life.

So why is there still a massive disconnect between what experts advise and what parents do? Are so many of us clamping our hands over our ears to "hear no evil," or do we know something that experts don't?

Meaning what you say

Before you go dashing off letters to the editor, let's consider that most people don't agree on what spanking actually is. In Webster's, "spank" means "to strike on the buttocks with an open hand." A mission statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) describes it as "striking a child with an open hand on the buttocks or extremities with the intention of modifying behavior without causing physical injury." But if you ask ten moms and dads what spanking means, you may well hear ten different responses.

Researchers who gather spanking statistics often lump together parents who may smack a well-padded bottom with an open hand once a year with those who regularly reach for a brush or belt strap as discipline, and they combine those who may spank their child because it's "good for them" with those who've done it because they lost their temper. The only definition experts and parents do seem to agree on is that spanking entails hitting of some kind, and that abuse is never acceptable. (Those of you who believe spanking is abuse no matter how it's defined may now be excused to write your letters to the editor.)

There are any number of reasons that a parent might advocate or abhor spanking, but most influential is her own childhood experience. Christina Togni of Manassas Park, Virginia, can still recall her mother's threat with a wooden spoon. "When my two older brothers and I would do something wrong and hear the kitchen drawer open, we'd immediately head for the hills." Now the mom of a 6-year-old and a newborn, Togni says that she uses spanking only "when absolutely necessary." But unlike her mom, she doesn't issue empty threats. "When I say I'm going to do it, I do it." Jennifer Johnson, a mother of three in Haymarket, Virginia, also remembers fearing "the wrath of the paddle," which she believes was a good thing. She says that she now spanks her kids "when the crime meets the punishment," and feels that there would be fewer unruly children if more parents spanked. Other parents say that they learned a very different lesson from their spankings. Lisa Bacote, a mom of a 2-year-old and a 3-month-old in Atlanta, remembers the few spankings she received. "They were harsh!" she says. But the punishments didn't teach responsibility or obedience, she believes, as much as fill a reservoir of resentment that took years to drain. Her husband says that the spankings he received growing up taught him two things:

• How to lie ("I didn't do it")

• How to avoid getting caught.

Interestingly, whether an adult looks back in admiration or anger for being spanked, she rarely indicts her parent for doing it. "I understand that the spankings were fueled by my mother's frustration on those days," says Bacote. I, too, was spanked as a child, and I not only understand why I was spanked but I would probably have done the same thing. Once when I was yelling and acting like a complete jerk to my mom, she hit me, and I distinctly remember thinking, "Okay, I had that coming."

But that doesn't mean it's morally defensible to hit a child when the purpose is to "teach a lesson." "Why is it okay for an adult to hit a child when it isn't even acceptable for an adult to pick on someone his own size?" asks Murray Straus, Ph.D., professor of sociology and codirector of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire. "There have been plenty of times when my colleagues have disagreed with me or made me upset, but that doesn't give me the right to haul off and hit 'em."

In this case, whether or not an adult "deserves" to be smacked is a moot point. It's simply unacceptable (and will land the smacker in a lot of trouble). Why is it, then, that children might "deserve" a swat and receive one? Because we're big and they're small -- a morally and ethically indefensible reason.

Still, adults who were spanked as children often defend the practice by saying, "It didn't hurt me in the long run." But, says Straus, just because a well-adjusted adult was spanked as a child doesn't mean that spanking is a harmless act. "I could say, 'I smoked my whole life and I'm okay.' But that doesn't mean smoking isn't bad for you," he explains.

Experts cite stacks of research that link spanking to mental health problems such as depression and a range of antisocial behaviors that land kids in detention and adults in jail. Of course, not all spanked kids end up in prison. Not all smokers end their days hooked up to an oxygen tank, says Straus, but that doesn't mean that it's fine for parents to introduce their children to nicotine.

Yet for many parents, their own childhood experience is hefty enough to quash any amount of data or well-reasoned line of logic. This doesn't surprise Gary Hill, a clinical psychologist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University, in Evanston, Illinois. "There's a strong emotional connection to the childhood event," he says, "so parents who spank are often more righteous about it." He also notes that for some adults, it's impossible to blame their own parents for spanking because it would mean that they were somehow scarred by being spanked. Instead, they believe that they "deserved" what they got.

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In my own opinion:

I won't deny it, I have given my daughter a couple of spank on her bottom if she had done something wrong then explain to her after wards why I spanked her. I also hit her hand lightly if she has touched something or ruined something, nothing more and nothing less. What I have seen here in Philippines it is very normal a child who has done something wrong will get spanked as punishment. I have had those when I was a child. It was painful and really awful it affects ones self esteem. So I tried to correct that kind of discipline and I have tried very very hard to control myself. And I'm proud to say I'm doing well with it until now, and hopefully continue this kind of thinking in the future as well. So mommys, use your word not action, then your child will follow.


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WHY DAYCARE IS GOOD FOR YOUR KIDS???

1. It'll make him healthier. Sure, he's going to have the sniffles more often than a stay-at-home tyke. But the bugs he's exposed to may strengthen his immune system, which in turn may protect him from chronic conditions like allergies, asthma, and even leukemia. According to a new study from the University of California, Berkeley, kids who attend daycare are 30 percent less likely to develop the most common type of childhood leukemia. The researchers think the immune-system boost from the infections may be why.

2. It'll prep him for school. "Daycare centers are more stimulating and cognitively enriching than in the past," says Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph.D., an investigator for a recent National Institutes of Health study that found that at age 4, kids who'd been in daycare did better on literacy and number-skills tests.

3. It'll jump-start his social life. Daycare tots learn to be more cooperative and are more assertive than kids who stay home. Because they have to get along with lots of other children, they learn they don't always come first and how to make friends. A lesson always better learned sooner rather than later in life!

Back then when I lived in Denmark I had to take my eldest child to daycare, it was necessary for me to do that coz I worked from 9 to 3pm, I never had any regrets to take her to daycare the teachers or guidance there were really nice. polites and very diplomatic. They had many activities and they assigned 3 kids per caregiver, and I always had a contact person, someone who I could talk to about my Daughters progress, like learning to play with others, sharing, eating, and taking naps when I'm not there. And I could also see my daughter being more and more talkative, and more social. I really like the way they teach children to socialize, it is really important that your kid can get along with anyone or any kind of persons, they can learn to accept each others character. I am also planning this coming june to let her go to pre-school also because she shows so much interest in it. She likes me to buy her notebooks, uniform, pencils, coloringbooks and stuff. And in my situation right where I live and work a little too far away from them, I can depend on my grandmom to teach her the basic things like shapes colors numbers and letters, for my own personal reasons. As much as i like having her at home with me where I could be her teacher, I just don't have that kind of luxury. I'm a single mom if I stayed at home who's gonna provide for us right. So here I also learn to balance and organize mine and my kids lifestyle. Well soon I'll be with them again, I', just waiting for my salary to go up and have a financial security .




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MY TOP 10 BABY GEARS

top 10 on my list of baby gears
Being a ''on the go mom'' I would like to place these strollers as my 1st on the list.


nr 1

My choices are

phil and teds stroller
and maclaren stroller

I gave birth to my children in europe, Denmark to be exact. You know what it feels like to stand in babys r us infront of 100 different strollers and just stand there and think gosh what to choose. For my first child I chose to have an ordinary stroller. Then I got pregnant again and thought I wanna have something practical easy to fold easy to get around with and easy to manuver, well I found it my ideal partner in life Phil And ted. Itøs the best really the best stroller. My first daughter became Ate ( big sister) when she was 2 years old and I had to get around town with a small stroller but big enough for them both. I didn't have a car so I use public transportation that's why I had to have one of the most practical stroller in the world weel here it is. When my first daughter were old enough to walkto her daycare I had to buy the maclaren xxl in pink of course hehehe...




My eldest were so proud to show of her baby sis in this stroller. She would walk beside me or hold her sisters hand while we take a stroll. this is nice. I still have this here in Philippines. I love it's girly color and it's so easy to fold.

It's Built to last

It's as sturdy as lightweights get, has top-notch steering, and practically opens and folds on its own.

my 2 daughters love this gear. it's comfy and it lasts really the price of it is worth it.

the 2nd on my list ODDERS changingbag...


nice and fashionable, really oraganized inside. it's also termostate,it keeps the milk warm and on right temperature. on the other side it keeps the diapers amnd the wipes. It's not that expesive either, but damn worth the price.







3rd on my list baby fleece blanket


I remember my eldest daughter had a fleeceblanket she couldn't live without. When she was in bed or riding her stroller or even playing. she had this fleece blanket with her all the time. And she even reminds me to bring it along and everytime it was always put to use, when she fell asleep on our friends house where she had a hard time sleeping coz it's a new place well this blanket gave her sort of protection or comfort. I use it also for my second daughter she loves the feeling of it but isn't that much needy for it as her ate( big sis). This is one of my favorites too. even I started to crave for the fleece blanket hehehehe...the softness of it the smell of my baby, it really does comfort you hehehe.



number 4. mam multivent



the cutiest feeding bottles ever, mama multivent is really so fashionable goes with the child's clothes even your own clothes, I have like 20 of these in purple and in pink hehehe...collections huh? hehehe....





nr 5 avent

perfect in design, perfect for your child, perfect so perfect. This is my second daughters favorite bottle, i ended up buying like 10 of these bottles I love it.











nr 6. avent breast pump



the best breast pump ever











nr 7 tripp trapp stokke high chair

Designed to provide the correct ergonomic support for your child when seated, TRIPP TRAPP® enables your child to sit at the family table and interact with you and other family members.

The unique adjustability of TRIPP TRAPP® in both seat and footrest height and depth adapts to your child as they grow to ensure that your child sits comfortably at all times.

oh see it's the best hehehehe

nr 8.

babybjørn carrier, the most comfortable carrier ever. very useful.












nr 9 activity blanket


fisher prize winnie the pooh activity blanket












nr 10

fisher prize jumperoo


I had this for my eldest daughter, i always had her there when i needed to get things done at home, like cleaning or taking a bath or cooking she loved being there jumping to music she loves on mtv or her favorite video Sarah Geronimo...


















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IS 3 WORSE THAN 2?

When your 3-year old's tantrums are driving you crazy

Little kids sure can create big scenes! No matter how sweet your child is or how good a parent you are, meltdowns are a fact of toddler life. So try to remember that your child's tantrums aren't a reflection of your parenting skills: They simply mean you've got a frustrated little kid on your hands. Here's how to handle them without losing your cool.

I think we parents have experience our child's tantrums every now and then. You're in denial if you say you haven't. Really mommy it's okey to admit that your child has a behaviour you just can seem to control by time to time. Well let's just say I'm very glad to know about parenting.com, there are some articles there where you can have some tips how to handle these kinds of behaviour....

let's see how shall we???

Though 2-year-olds get pegged with the "terrible" label, 3-year-olds can actually be more challenging. Tactics that once calmed them may no longer work, and they can now throw fits for longer periods of time, thanks to an increased attention span.

Your child's new tantrums may drive you crazy, but there's a silver lining: "They mean she feels self-sufficient," says Sharon Bergen, a senior vice president at KinderCare Learning Centers. To nurture this independence while still keeping control:

Pick your battles. If she balks at wearing shoes when you're going out, make it nonnegotiable. If she wants to wear party shoes and you'd prefer sneakers, skip the fight.
Limit her choices. Letting her decide which of three travel games to bring in the car gives her enough power that she likely will cave on her demand to lug the dollhouse along.
Be consistent. Part of the thrill of acting out is seeing your reaction. If it's always the same -- calmly standing your ground -- your kid will become less interested in testing you.

What causes tantrums

It may seem like your child's having a meltdown for no reason (or for a silly one). But there are real causes:

Toddlers can't express themselves very well. Your 2- or 3-year-old may know a lot of words, but he doesn't yet have the ability to construct complex sentences -- or put words to all the emotions he's feeling. That's why instead of saying, "Mom, I'd really like orange juice with my toast, but only in the red cup because it looks weird in the blue one," he screams bloody murder when you gave him apple juice in the blue cup.

They are easily overwhelmed. Toddlers thrive on routine, and a change can really throw them off. That means that adding in an extra errand or missing naptime by even 15 minutes can spell disaster. Certain places, like busy stores, can be overwhelming, too.

They want to do more than they can handle. Toddlers are naturally very curious -- and are thrilled to discover they can suddenly do so many things on their own. Unfortunately, your child's physical prowess doesn't keep pace with his curiosity, so he gets frustrated when the block tower falls or he's not allowed to climb the kitchen stool.

They don't understand delayed gratification. Little kids live in the here and now, not in our cookies-are-for-after-dinner world. Not getting what they want, when they want it, is a top tantrum producer.

They think they're the center of the universe. In the me-me-me life of a toddler, no one else's needs matter as much as his own. That's why sharing is so difficult.

Defusing tantrums

Acknowledge that she's frustrated. Your best first defense is to look your child in the eye and let her know you feel her pain. By saying "I know you want a cookie," or even just "I know you're upset," you're telling her you're there to help her feel better. That might be enough to calm her down so you can add, "I wish we could have cookies, too. It's too bad we can't right now."

Be silly. Laughter can be a great tantrum buster. If your child starts to pitch a fit about getting into the tub, try singing a goofy song -- anything to make her giggle.

Try a distraction. Give her something else to think about. Try saying, "Let's finish shopping by picking out bananas together." Or if it's time to leave the park, but she doesn't want to, "How many dogs do you think we'll see on the drive home?"

Ignore it. Sometimes, tantrums escalate because your toddler thinks she'll get what she wants if she screams loud enough. If you don't react, she may give up.

Leave the scene. When all else fails, get out of line, off the slide, whatever. But do it without making a fuss -- you'll be modeling calm behavior. It may be inconvenient, but it shows who's in control: you.

Preventing meltdowns

Avoid the triggers. Try to figure out what sets your child off. Does he lose it when he's hungry or tired? When he's in the car seat for longer than 20 minutes? Plan ahead to stave off tantrums: Carry a snack, make sure he's rested, or stop for a break between errands.

"For meltdowns, I point my daughter to a 'tantrum place' -- like the bathroom -- so she can scream all she wants. She gets over it quickly, and then she can have fun!"
-- Debbie Granick, St. Louis

Submit your tantrum tip!

Offer options. When toddlers feel overwhelmed, they need your help, but they still want to have a say in things. That's why offering two options (more is just confusing) can prevent a meltdown. Try saying, "Would you like to see the polar bears or the monkeys?" instead of "Which animal do you want to see first at the zoo?"

Give fair warning. If you have to tear your child away from something fun or drag him somewhere he'll hate, preparation can nip frustration in the bud. Say, "We're going to go home after one more trip down the slide." Little kids are more likely to behave if they know ahead of time what they can and can't do.

Show your child how you want him to act. Since one reason kids scream is that they don't know what else to do, teach your child to use words to express himself. Good ones to start with: "Can you help me?" and "Excuse me." The more specific you can be with your own requests, the better. Telling your child you want him to "be good" isn't really informative. Instead, tell him you want him to ask for things in a quiet voice.

Summary

Toddlers have tantrums because they're frustrated or overwhelmed, not because they want to make you crazy. Understanding the underlying cause can help you both get through a tantrum.

I have practiced these things with my eldest much, well let's just say she's sorry for having a very consistent mom hehehehe. She has learned that when I say no it really does mean NO that's nonnegotiable. And if there are fights what shoes to wear I give her choices put it in front of her and that's it. I don't like to make things complicated with my children I like it when they demand what to eat, I'll no doubt cook her that if I haven't already cooked. That's how things work for me. When itøs nap time well that 's nonnegotiable either. When she and and her sister are finished playing with their toys well they know what to do with it afterwards-correct put it back on its proper places. I guess I'm just giving them what I have learned by my grandmom, she has raised me well and I take my hat off for that. She's my wonderwoman. hail to moms/grandmoms weeeheeeey....





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DOES YOUR CHILD HAVE ASTHMA???

My youngest daughter have asthma and had pneumonia once where she has been admitted for 10 days in a hospital, ever since I have been very much aware how to make things easier for her and to avoid her for having her asthma attacks. here are some tips I've read in parenting.com...




Why spotting asthma can be tricky

Given how dramatic asthma symptoms are, you'd think it'd be a snap to diagnose. That's often not the case, especially in kids under 5. "As many as half of children have at least one episode of wheezing before age three, but after that most never wheeze again," says Paul Williams, M.D., clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Washington. In fact, only 15 to 20 percent of kids who wheeze go on to have lifelong asthma. Plus, very young children can't adequately perform spirometry, which requires patients to blow as hard and as long as they can into a meter; it's usually not till they're 5 or 6 that kids can do the test, which can accurately diagnose asthma, says Dr. Williams. In the meantime, you can get a pretty good sense of your child's risk by using the Asthma Predictive Index, which we've adapted into the "Risk Checker" at right. So grab a pen and see how your sweetie's symptoms stack up.

Risk checker

1. Has your child had frequent wheezing before age 3 (four or more episodes in one year that lasted longer than a day and disrupted sleep)?

2. Does she have at least one of these major risk factors?

* she has a parent or a
* sibling who has asthma
* she has eczema
* she's tested positive on tests for airborne allergens

3. Does she have at least two of these minor risk factors?

* she has allergic rhinitis
* she wheezes even when she doesn't have a cold
* she has a food allergy, especially to eggs, milk, or peanuts

If you answered yes to the first question along with at least one other, there's about a 76 percent chance your child's symptoms will persist through grade school. Meanwhile, 95 percent of kids who have only one yes (or none) will likely not develop asthma after age 6. Great news!


Anatomy of an attack

1. An irritant, allergen, or virus makes its way to the lungs from the upper respiratory tract.

2. The immune system kicks into gear, producing antibodies and other substances to fight it off.

3. These immune chemicals trigger two big, simultaneous changes: The lungs' airways begin to constrict, causing spasms, and they also become inflamed, which leads to further swelling and mucus production.

4. As the room for air decreases, kids begin breathing very deeply to get oxygen. But then they struggle to release it. So as a sufferer forces air back out through the swollen tubes, a whistling -- or wheezing sound -- occurs. Depending on the severity, kids may also experience shortness of breath, rapid breathing, or chest tightness. In babies, you may also see the muscles under or between their ribs pulling in. Any of these signs means it's time to get help ASAP.

5 Common Asthma Triggers and How to Beat Them

The goal is control

Despite the fact that asthma has the potential to be so well managed that it becomes practically a nonissue, it's still grossly undertreated, says Bradley Chipps, M.D., pediatric pulmonologist and allergist at Capital Allergy and Respiratory Disease Center in Sacramento, CA. "Number one, physicians often view asthma as an episodic disease," says Dr. Chipps. "They just do crisis intervention and aren't seeing patients back on a regular basis." In fact, only 20 percent of moms said their doctors discussed asthma control with them regularly, according to a recent survey by the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America (AAFA). But pediatricians aren't the only ones to blame: "Adherence to therapy is miserable," says Dr. Chipps. "The average refill rate of controller medications is two to four refills per year. If you're taking them every day, the refill rate should be twelve."

The secrets to getting asthma under control: First, ask your doctor for a written asthma action plan. Consider it your customized road map to your child's medication as well as to all the lifestyle strategies that will help you help him avoid his triggers. The second step is to find the best mix of medicines for your child -- and then use them as directed. Get an idea of the typical treatment plans on the next page.


Treatment, simplified

Most kids with asthma will need medication. Some may require it every day, while others need it only during cold or allergy season. The meds may come in liquid form to use in a nebulizer, a machine that turns them into a mist, or in a traditional inhaler. Either way, our cheat sheet tells you what to expect if your child has...

ANY TYPE OF ASTHMA

What she'll need: A bronchodilator like albuterol or Xopenex (often called a rescue drug)

Why: These drugs can instantly open the airways during an attack. Unless your child has exercise-induced asthma, it's not intended for daily use. If your kid relies on it more than twice a week, it's a clear sign her symptoms aren't controlled.

What to watch for: Tremor, palpitations, sense of nervousness, or hyperactivity

INTERMITTENT ASTHMA OR CHRONIC ASTHMA

What she'll need: A low-dose corticosteroid, such as Flovent, Pulmicort, or Alvesco

Why: Inhaled corticosteroids reduce airway inflammation long-term. About two thirds of children in this category will have good control using one every day. Same goes for kids who flare only during certain times of the year; the drug protects them through their danger zone and then they can stop.

What to watch for: Short-term, some kids may have upset stomach, oral thrush, and body aches. Long-term, daily use of inhaled corticosteroids may slightly slow their annual growth rate, a side effect that's thought to be reversible when children stop taking the drug.

SEVERE CHRONIC ASTHMA

What she'll need: An anti-leukotriene such as Singulair or Accolate and/or a long-acting beta agonist (LABA)

Why: If corticosteroids alone aren't working, an anti-leukotriene can block the chemicals that are further fueling airway swelling and spasms. Those who are still suffering may need to add an LABA, such as Serevent or Foradil, which are longer-lasting bronchodilators.

What to watch for: Upset stomach, cough, dizziness, drowsiness, ear pain or infection, swelling of the mouth or throat. The FDA is also investigating a possible association between the use of anti-leukotriene medications and behavior/mood changes.




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POSITION OF THE WEEK

DESK DETAIL POSITION



EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Sit your man down in a desk chair, with his legs spread out comfortably in front of him and his feet on the floor. Standing between his legs with your back to him, lower yourself down onto his lap. Once he's inside you, lean forward and stretch out your arms until they reach the desktop. Lift your feet up, suspending them in the air. He grabs your hips tightly and thrusts in small circles while you keep your legs together.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
Who said desk duty was boring? Get ready to be brought to bliss because in this position, your guy is definitely the boss — literally. But unlike typical doggy-style sex, which can be hard on the knees, your guy can sit back, relax, and concentrate on taking you to incredible orgasmic heights. If he lifts your body up a bit as he thrusts, he can watch himself as he enters you — an experience guys all crave.

COSMO HINT To earn some extra erotic credit, ask your man to tilt you forward a bit more and shift the motion by using circular strokes. The twists and turns of this passion project will have you definitely wanting to stay late at the office.


THE MERMAID POSITION



EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Lie faceup at the edge of a bed, desk, or countertop. Place a pillow under your butt to get some elevation. Extend your legs straight up, keeping them close together. You can put your hands under the pillow to raise your pelvis even higher, use them to hold on to the counter or desk for leverage, or keep them free. Your partner then enters you while standing up; if the bed or desk is low, he can kneel on the floor. He can grip your feet for leverage, which will give him the extra stability he needs to thrust more deeply.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
Keeping your legs together means he feels fuller inside you, so you're creating lots of blissful friction and an incredibly tight fit. Give him a show and drive yourself wild by stimulating your clitoris while he's thrusting away.

COSMO HINT Occasionally separate your legs and bring them back together to get that first-tight-fit feeling again and again. The tight...tighter...tightest sensation will drive your guy wild, and the rush you'll get from calling the shots will create waves of pleasure.



REACH FOR THE HEAVENS POSITION




EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Choose an immovable surface — a strong headboard or the side of a tub if you have a spacious bathroom. Lie on your back and raise your arms overhead so your palms rest flat on your surface of choice with your head several inches from the tub or the headboard; it’s as if you’re reaching for the sexual stars. Once he enters you missionary style, bring your legs together as close as possible. With your thighs pressed tightly, his penis will rub against your inner thighs and labia each time he thrusts.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
By holding yourself against that hard surface rather than moving with him, you create even more friction. Combined with your closed thighs, the immobility of this position makes for deeper penetration — a big plus for you. For him, the illusion of resistance will heighten his arousal.

Closing your thighs will stimulate your clitoris, resulting in an intense orgasm. But major friction can chafe dry skin, so make sure you’re fully aroused. As far as he’s concerned, the wetter the better, so moisten youself with lube for a truly slippery seduction.




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7 BEDROOM MOVES YOU MUST MASTER

To really make the mattress springs squeak, you need to be unbridled. Here are the devilish maneuvers that'll crank up the heat between your sheets.


If your last hair-raising deed in the bedroom was to stay up to watch late-night TV, our sinsational suggestions just might make you drop the remote, which is a good thing. 'Cause, hon, to have the best sex, you've just got to be a little bad. Truly amazing erotic action can happen only when both partners are willing to take risks. That means leaving the Mary Poppins primness behind and strutting your stuff into titillating new territory. "When you go beyond your limits, you discover hidden turn-ons and new sensations," says Catherine Liszt, coauthor of When Someone You Love Is Kinky. Plus, you get the blood-pumping jolt that comes from being bolder, ballsier, and more brazen in bed. Your willingness to explore your sexual boundaries will also build intimacy and trust between you and your partner. Here, the seven sexy sins you should, make that must, commit.

Dare to...Bust Out a New Move

Nothing makes the bedroom buzz with erotic electricity like debuting a dirty act you've always been curious about, especially if you think it's kinda kinky. Spontaneously slipping a novel technique into your lusty lineup will elevate an ordinary sex session into a reckless, fasten-your-seat-belt romp, according to Eve Hogan, author of Intellectual Foreplay. It will also open your eyes to erogenous zones you never knew you had. And because you can't anticipate how your man will react when you, say, pin him down on the kitchen table for impromptu passion (though our very informal survey says the most likely response will be some stuttering, a gargantuan grin, and a showering of praise and appreciation), you'll get an extra jolt of excitement. And his heart will race just wondering what could possibly be next on your sexual agenda. Surprises to spring on him: Tackle him in the shower for some one-foot-on-the-soap-dish dirty time, or reenact a Sex and the City scene that gave you a shiver.

Dare to...Booty-Call Him at Work

Dial your boyfriend when you know he's slaving away at his office and purr into the phone that you'll be at home, waiting for some noontime nooky or ready to start your own private happy hour just around quitting time. Calling in a quickie as soon as your mouth waters for it is all about instant gratification. "The idea that you're willing to drop everything else to have sex is exhilarating," Laura Corn, author of The Great American Sex Diet: Where the Only Thing You Nibble on...Is Your Partner! explains, "because you're acting purely on animal impulse." Making the bold, determined move to get the lovin' you want fast will have you on passionate pins and needles and him defying time, traffic, and yellow lights to get home and put out the fire in your pants.

Dare to...Put the Porn On

If the mere thought of renting a porno feels smutty, then it's definitely time to pick one up. From the spine-tingling moment you venture into the adult section of the video store to the second you surprise your guy with a skin flick and wait breathlessly for his randy response, taking the plunge into porn will add fiery fervor to your real-life bump and grinds. Like catching an eyeful of your randy neighbors mid-nooky, observing overheated couples and their this-close thrusting onscreen feels totally taboo. For Christine,* 26, just knowing her boyfriend was getting off on her watching made her quiver. "The first time we rented a porno, I was immediately engrossed," she recalls. "But then I realized Dave couldn't take his eyes off me. Keeping my eyes glued to the screen while Dave watched my reactions made me feel naughty. Soon after, we were having sex so hot that the porn looked tame in comparison." If you're less than bold about shopping for a sex flick, drive to a store in another neighborhood, shop online, or go to a place that stocks X-rated movies on the shelves, rather than behind the counter where you have to request them.

*Names have been changed.

Dare to...Pump Up the Dirty Dialogue

We all know that guys dig verbal action in bed, but whispering those lusty lines in public where anyone can overhear you will turn his knees (and yours) to jelly. While watching a stuffy play or at a family reunion, squeeze his inner thigh and tell him exactly what you'll do to him later — right down to the tongue trick you'll tease him with and the lace thong you'll wear. Your drive home will be deliciously thrilling. And because we're programmed to think of men as the bearers of bawdy come-ons, mouthing off to him is liable to give both of you heart palpitations, says Corn. "Plus, because you're in public and you can't satisfy your cravings," she notes, "you'll see, smell, taste, and hear nothing but sex — and be burning with desire by the time you're finally alone."

Dare to...Create an Alter Ego

Role-playing is one of the best ways to add risky razzle-dazzle to your romps. Swap your normally shy side for a more wicked persona or become uncharacteristically virginal for the night — developing a steamy new you helps you shed your inhibitions and frees you to do anything you damn well please. "Showing your partner parts of your sexual personality he's never seen before is a little scary, but that's exactly what makes it so sexy," says Liszt. Suddenly, it's not you in bed with your boyfriend but an oversexed policewoman or a shy cheerleader. And she, er, you can take your mattress mambo to a place you've never been before — and beyond. You can start by identifying your role with a few lusty lines ("You didn't behave, and now it's time for detention"). Or ease him into your new act with provocative hints ("Someone else might be joining us in the bedroom tonight") and clues (a pair of stilettos in his closet or a studded collar in his briefcase).

Dare to...Leave the Lights On

Resist the urge to lunge for the lamp switch the minute he starts stroking your thigh, and get busy with the bulbs still burning. True, stripping down to your Skivvies under 60 watts may be terrifying, but you might be surprised by how much you end up loving the spotlight. With every touch, lick, and hip swivel on display, any sex act will turn into a daring feat of exhibitionism. If bright lights make you run for cover, install a dimmer switch or try blindfolding yourself the first time to give you the thrill of putting on a peep show without the reminder that he can see all. "Since most of us are used to lights-out sex," says Corn, "watching his face, eyes, and body responding to you adds an exhilarating element to your bedroom grooves."

Dare to...Make Him Your Love Slave

Slip on your power panties and command your boyfriend to give you the pleasure performance of your choice. Telling him how you want to be manhandled might feel high-wire-act treacherous, but it's guaranteed to give you both shivers. We're guessing he'll love being bossed around, and you know that when he follows your dirty demands, you're in for the ride of your life. Being vividly verbal also shows him that you burn for amazing sex as much as he does. "Sex with my girlfriend is intense because she's fearless enough to ask for exactly what she wants," says Gary, 29. "She's not weighed down by inhibitions, so I don't hold back my desires." Start by tapping into what tops your sexual wish list — this will make it easier to picture yourself commanding it. Then, when you're feeling frisky, look him in the eyes and firmly tell him to, say, remove your undies and run his tongue south from your navel to your pleasure zone. No doubt he'll rise to the occasion.

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4 LINES A GUY CRAVE HEARING

If you’re looking for ways to make your guy feel kingly, quit overthinking it. All you need to do is lay one of these powerful phrases on him, then watch a smile creep across his face.

“I’ll give it a try.”
Whether it’s sampling our exotic drink concoction, hopping on a kite board on vacation, or spicing things up between the sheets, guys love a woman who’s game for new stuff. It shows that you’re confident enough to let us see you outside your comfort zone and that you’re not about to let the relationship get stale. “I couldn’t believe it when my girlfriend agreed to come to a pro-wrestling show with me,” says John, 21. “She always makes fun of the ‘so fake’ moves when I watch it on TV, but she ended up having a great time.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.”
Granted, we don’t expect to hear this if we stumble in at 3 a.m., smeared with lipstick that’s not yours. But there are times when letting us off the hook is a very cool move — like on occasions when we’re running 10 minutes late for a dinner with friends. Or when we are stuck under a rain cloud and don’t feel like talking. “When I have a bad day, the last thing I want to do is relive it,” says Matt, 29. “Give me some space and I promise I’ll come clean when I’m ready.” The lack of pressure in the short run will make us more apt to open up in the long run.

“Wow! Where did you learn that?”
Try this in the bedroom and you’ll boost our sexual confidence into the stratosphere for this reason: Every guy wants to be first to conquer uncharted pleasure territory. And once we know that something we did works, we’re likely to do it again...and again. “I read about how much fun ice can be under the covers,” says Owen, 26. “My girlfriend loved it so much that, even now, she sometimes brings up how creative it was.”

“I need your opinion.”
Asking for our guidance lets us know you’re interested in what we have to say, rather than just using us as your sounding board while you vent. Besides, many dudes consider themselves experts on lots of things — from gadget shopping to financial advice to workplace revenge — so we feel validated when you actually believe we’re qualified to help you out with a dilemma. But start with something less loaded than “Which outfit makes me look less fat: the jeans or the dress?” That’s just not fair.





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WHAT HIS CUDDLING BODY LANGUAGE REVEALS

He throws an arm around you.

"Putting one arm around you is not a very intimate move," says Andersen. "It's sort of the bare minimum — he's doing the requisite cuddle, but without adjusting his position or comfort level at all." The good news: He recognizes that close contact is important to you and respects your needs enough to snuggle, even if it is just for your sake. At least he takes direction well when it comes to pleasing you, including sexually. Give him some guidance and he'll likely get it right from then on.

He puts his head in your lap.

If you're a woman who loves taking care of a guy, you've hit the jackpot. "Men who prefer this position tend to be a little needy in relationships — they look to their girlfriends to make them feel good about themselves," explains Peter A. Andersen, PhD, professor of communications at San Diego State University and author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Body Language. "He's also comfortable with his emotions, very sensitive, and willing to share what's in his head." This dude wants to make you happy — he'll lavish you with erotic attention and make it his mission to help you reach ultimate bliss.

He spoons you.

Think about this snuggle position: curled up body-to-body, your bum pressed to his package, his hands free to roam around up front. Hello, definitely not PG-rated! "He's a really physical person who enjoys the feeling of your form against his, and he may have a high sex drive as well," says Nelson. "But while he truly enjoys the contact of cuddling, he might not be as comfortable expressing himself emotionally." Expect him to show you his affection with his gestures and actions, rather than with words.

He pulls you onto his chest.

While this dude may present himself as a tough guy, he's really a big softie. "By bringing you close to his heart, he's symbolically showing you that he's attached," explains communication expert Audrey Nelson, PhD, author of You Don't Say. "Holding you against a masculine part of his body — his chest — is also his way of letting you know he can protect you."

This dependable nurturer loves taking care of his woman, whether he's hanging shelves or propping you up after a work debacle. In bed, he's likely to take charge as well — he'll favor man-on-top positions like missionary and doggie-style.

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why Love can make you crazy.....

Google-Earthing his house. Mentally decorating the place you’re sure you are going to share one day, even though you’ve only been on a few dates. Feeling insanely jealous when he talks to a female friend. Any of these behaviors ring a bell? If so, congrats — it means you’ve probably been in love.

Most women find themselves acting a bit uncharacteristically cuckoo after they fall hard for a guy, and there’s a physiological reason why passion can have such a strange effect. “Being in love floods your system with mood-altering chemicals,”
“These chemicals throw off your normal brain chemistry, tampering with your common sense and judgment.”

“It’s called falling in love for a reason — it comes upon us quickly and knocks us off our feet,”. All the emotional tumult can trigger obsessive, impulsive actions.

And though the vast majority of women won’t do anything that’s dangerously off the wall, being in love has pushed some chicks over the edge when conditions were right. Cases in point: Lisa Nowak, the NASA astronaut who allegedly drove 900 miles this past February (reportedly wearing an adult diaper!) to attack a woman who was dating her ex. And a few months before, a young Belgian skydiver allegedly sabotaged her friend’s parachute after learning that the friend had had an affair with her boyfriend, ultimately leading to the friend’s death.


Why Love Can Make You Crazy


BIZARRO BEHAVIOR 1: You Get Stalkerish
When you’re head over heels, it’s normal to crave constant contact with your guy — so much so that when you’re physically apart, you become kind of a stalker-lite: You pepper him with texts, call repeatedly, even check his Facebook profile during downtime at work...despite the fact that you saw it an hour ago. You know it’s over the top, but you just can’t help yourself.

And you’re right: You can’t help yourself. “When you’re really into a guy, you experience a surge of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that stimulates the reward center of your brain and makes you crave your partner very bad,” says Fisher. “You get an intense rush of pleasure whenever you see or hear from him, and because of this, being with him becomes your primary goal, overriding everything else.”

Dopamine also activates your anterior cingulate, an area of the brain that helps you focus. As a result, you’re always thinking of ways to get close to him. It’s linked to our most basic evolutionary survival techniques. “The mental mechanism that alerts us when we need essentials, like food and water, also kicks into gear when we’re in love,” says Lucy Brown, PhD, professor of neuroscience at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. If you’re really thirsty, for example, getting water becomes your overriding goal. Romantic passion works the same way: All your energy is funneled into wanting your man, so it seems impossible to concentrate at work because your mind is always on him.

What makes a woman go from sane to psycho: If the man you’re wild about is mostly unavailable or plays mind games, you may develop what Fisher calls frustration attraction: He strings you along, which drives you to take increasingly extreme measures to connect with him. This anguish can cause some women to reach a breaking point. “Their impulse control goes by the wayside, and they may become true stalkers,” says Fisher.

BIZARRO BEHAVIOR 2: You Rush into Things
Ever felt such a strong connection with a new guy that you hit the relationship fast-forward button? For example, even though you know you’re not actually in love after dating for a week, you can’t help uttering the L word. You probably know someone who moved in with her man astoundingly quickly. Hell, practically every week a new celeb duo gets engaged as fast as they drive their Maybachs around L.A.

Again, it’s those feel-good brain chemicals that compel you to accelerate things. “The chemical spike you get when you’re with your partner is so pleasurable, you’ll do whatever it takes to affirm that he feels just as strongly about you,” says Arthur Aron, PhD, professor of social psychology at Stony Brook University.

In other words, you want to cement what, in your mind, could be the most important relationship of your life, and diving headfirst into commitment is one way to assure it can be a reality. On top of this, your ability to reason flies out the window once you’re hooked. Research has shown that people who are in love experience decreased activity in the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain associated with decision making. “Because you’re channeling the vast majority of your mind power on your mate, that compromises your capacity for rational thought,” says Fisher.

A third factor amping your desire to speed things along: Despite the euphoria of those first kisses and dates, the initial stages of infatuation can be incredibly unsettling. “You aren’t sure yet where you stand with your mate, so you’re anxious to shake the ambiguity,” explains Regan. So exchanging I-love-yous or taking things to the next level nails down his intentions and eases your mind.

What makes a woman go from sane to psycho: Having an extremely impatient personality can compel a lovestruck woman to pump the gas on her relationship so much that she may find herself discussing potential baby names without even knowing if the guy wants kids in the first place...a big-time turn-off for him.


BIZARRO BEHAVIOR 3: You Become Super-Jealous
No matter how self-assured you are, it’s normal to have romantic envy when you’re with a new guy. For example, you imagine your man is flirting with other chicks when he’s out with his buddies, even though he gives you no reason not to trust him. Or you’re tempted to hit up a party where your man’s ex will be, just to check her out.

Getting green-eyed when you fall in love is natural because your bond with your guy is still fragile. “Jealousy is driven by uncertainty,” says Regan. “Since the rules of your relationship are up in the air in the beginning, you aren’t sure where you stand.”

It’s also part of our DNA to fend off romantic competition so we get the best catch. “Jealousy is somewhat a biological adaptation to help us lock down a mate and prevent him from leaving us for someone else,” says jealousy expert Robert Lefton, PhD, CEO of Psychological Associates, a consulting company in Saint Louis. Our brains send warning signals that there’s a potential rival, urging us to keep other women at bay. Luckily, this suspicious state of mind likely won’t last — as you get to know him and build trust, your envy abates.

Playing into the equation too: When you’re lovesick, your levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin — which works to keep us happy and calm — may drop by as much as 40 percent, says Donatella Marazziti, MD, professor of psychiatry at the University of Pisa. A change in serotonin can spur jealousy (while levels of the stress hormone cortisol rise). That’s why an innocent comment, like the mention of a cool female coworker, can kick-start your envy. Normally, you’d be unfazed, but with your serotonin bottoming out, the littlest things can make you rabid.

What makes a woman go from sane to psycho: Slipping your arm around your guy’s waist when he’s talking to another chick at a party to convey you’re a couple is one thing, but other women take it too far, like accidentally- on-purpose spilling a drink on her. “Due to variances in our brain chemistry, some people are biologically prone to become suspicious and overreact,” explains Lefton. Also, having been cheated on in the past can cause you to exaggerate the danger of a perceived romantic threat.

Going Nuts for a New Man?
These tips will help pull you back from the brink of batty.

Get a friend’s take. Talk to a trusted pal about how off-the-wall you’ve been feeling lately, and ask her to step in if she thinks you’re acting kookily out of character.

Create some space. It’s hard but worth it — cutting back on your time with your guy, especially the number of nights you sleep over together, will help you catch your breath and gain perspective and self-control.

Sweat it out. It may sound simplistic, but physical activity will ease your anxiety. Also, mind/body workouts like tai chi help you focus on the present so you don’t obsess about the future.

Seek help. Still spiraling? Schedule a session — alone or with your guy — to see a therapist. She’ll help you figure out if your obsession is dangerous and/or masking deeper issues.

Source: Psychologist Barry G. Ginsberg, PhD, Director of the Center of Relationship Enhancement






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FRIDAY QUOTES

this is for my boo..and what i feel about you

















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