what not to do after a break up???

1. After a Break Up Don't: Remain 'Just Friends'

Accepting that your relationship is over is the very first step after a break up, and without this realization you'll be hard pressed to move on. Now is the time for renewal, not hopes for reconciliation. Sure, there may be a slight chance the two of you will get back together, but even the most astute 'get your ex back' manuals start with this first simple step: take a break.

Give yourself some time to mourn your loss. Get to know yourself as a single person. Toe your lines of independence and find out what makes you happy again. Staying friends with your ex will only prolong the pain. Think of any interaction with your ex like an addiction -- every single time you succumb, it'll be that much harder to refuse later.
2. After a Break Up Don't: Keep Remnants of the Relationship Lying Around

There are quite a few things considered 'remnants' of a relationship, including photos, cutesy trinkets, mementos, clothing, and even food. After a break up, especially if the two of you have children together, it can be challenging to remove all of these items from your home. Luckily that's not what I am asking you to do. Instead, fill a box with whatever items you feel will be necessary at some point in time in the future but still remind you strongly of your ex, and then put that box in a private, out-of-the way place for the time being. There will be more than enough reminders on a day-to-day basis of your ex's just because of how the human mind works. You won't need any extra help to add fuel to the break up fire.
3. After a Break Up Don't: Deny Negative Emotions That Surface

There is no doubt that you will feel strong emotions after a break up, such as loneliness, anger, fear, shame, uncertainty, humiliation, sadness, despair and jealousy. For many, these feelings will also surface physically, like crying or feeling like your heart is breaking.

Not only are these 'negative' emotions healthy, but they are important to feel in order to remain healthy. Sure, they seem miserable and probably don't make you feel better in the moment, but allowing yourself time to grieve is an important part of healing after a breakup. Plus, a scientific study undertaken in 1980 by Margaret Crepeau found that frequent criers are healthier people. So don't be afraid to comfort yourself via expressing your negative emotions.
4. After a Break Up Don't: Self-Medicate

If there were issues related to addictions, abuse, mental health (i.e. depression), or self-mutilation prior to your break up, please seek out professional help to assist with your specialized needs. (See: How Do I Find a Therapist?) The same goes for those finding themselves using drugs, alcohol, sex, cutting, or any other harmful self-medicating behaviors to cope with the pain after a break up. And if you feel the need to hurt yourself or someone else, please call a crisis hotline immediately.
5. After a Break Up Don't: Stop Taking Care of Yourself

Most people's basic needs are the same: food, sleep and protection from the elements (i.e. shelter and food). During a particularly difficult break up, some people aren't able to manage even these simple tasks -- which is understandable, although not acceptable.

If you cannot be your own best friend right now, ask for help. Talk to your friends, family, a counselor and/or loved ones and let them know you may need a bit of extra support in the next little while. Additionally, create a break up action plan to post in key places, such as on your fridge or hidden away in your desk at work. That way you'll have no only have people checking out for you, but you'll also have created a foolproof list of things that make you happy to refer to.

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.





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You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.




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In our life we see addiction everyday, it's shocking how many addiction there is. It would be too easy if it was just drugs, booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean we get addicted for a reason right?
often too often, things that start out just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive compulsive and out of control. It's the high of chasing. The high that makes everything else fade away. Still they say you don't kick the habit till you hit rock bottom. Then how will you know when you are there.? coz no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, soemtimes letting go hurts even more.....




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i fear no more

Change we don't like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt tp change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it's not is lying. But here's the truth sometimes, the more things change the more it stays the same. Sometimes change is everything.




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WORDLESS FRIDAY

This is me this is me this where you put me.....

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POSITION OF THE WEEK

DESK DETAIL POSITION



EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Sit your man down in a desk chair, with his legs spread out comfortably in front of him and his feet on the floor. Standing between his legs with your back to him, lower yourself down onto his lap. Once he's inside you, lean forward and stretch out your arms until they reach the desktop. Lift your feet up, suspending them in the air. He grabs your hips tightly and thrusts in small circles while you keep your legs together.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
Who said desk duty was boring? Get ready to be brought to bliss because in this position, your guy is definitely the boss — literally. But unlike typical doggy-style sex, which can be hard on the knees, your guy can sit back, relax, and concentrate on taking you to incredible orgasmic heights. If he lifts your body up a bit as he thrusts, he can watch himself as he enters you — an experience guys all crave.

COSMO HINT To earn some extra erotic credit, ask your man to tilt you forward a bit more and shift the motion by using circular strokes. The twists and turns of this passion project will have you definitely wanting to stay late at the office.


THE MERMAID POSITION



EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Lie faceup at the edge of a bed, desk, or countertop. Place a pillow under your butt to get some elevation. Extend your legs straight up, keeping them close together. You can put your hands under the pillow to raise your pelvis even higher, use them to hold on to the counter or desk for leverage, or keep them free. Your partner then enters you while standing up; if the bed or desk is low, he can kneel on the floor. He can grip your feet for leverage, which will give him the extra stability he needs to thrust more deeply.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
Keeping your legs together means he feels fuller inside you, so you're creating lots of blissful friction and an incredibly tight fit. Give him a show and drive yourself wild by stimulating your clitoris while he's thrusting away.

COSMO HINT Occasionally separate your legs and bring them back together to get that first-tight-fit feeling again and again. The tight...tighter...tightest sensation will drive your guy wild, and the rush you'll get from calling the shots will create waves of pleasure.



REACH FOR THE HEAVENS POSITION




EROTIC INSTRUCTIONS:
Choose an immovable surface — a strong headboard or the side of a tub if you have a spacious bathroom. Lie on your back and raise your arms overhead so your palms rest flat on your surface of choice with your head several inches from the tub or the headboard; it’s as if you’re reaching for the sexual stars. Once he enters you missionary style, bring your legs together as close as possible. With your thighs pressed tightly, his penis will rub against your inner thighs and labia each time he thrusts.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT:
By holding yourself against that hard surface rather than moving with him, you create even more friction. Combined with your closed thighs, the immobility of this position makes for deeper penetration — a big plus for you. For him, the illusion of resistance will heighten his arousal.

Closing your thighs will stimulate your clitoris, resulting in an intense orgasm. But major friction can chafe dry skin, so make sure you’re fully aroused. As far as he’s concerned, the wetter the better, so moisten youself with lube for a truly slippery seduction.




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7 BEDROOM MOVES YOU MUST MASTER

To really make the mattress springs squeak, you need to be unbridled. Here are the devilish maneuvers that'll crank up the heat between your sheets.


If your last hair-raising deed in the bedroom was to stay up to watch late-night TV, our sinsational suggestions just might make you drop the remote, which is a good thing. 'Cause, hon, to have the best sex, you've just got to be a little bad. Truly amazing erotic action can happen only when both partners are willing to take risks. That means leaving the Mary Poppins primness behind and strutting your stuff into titillating new territory. "When you go beyond your limits, you discover hidden turn-ons and new sensations," says Catherine Liszt, coauthor of When Someone You Love Is Kinky. Plus, you get the blood-pumping jolt that comes from being bolder, ballsier, and more brazen in bed. Your willingness to explore your sexual boundaries will also build intimacy and trust between you and your partner. Here, the seven sexy sins you should, make that must, commit.

Dare to...Bust Out a New Move

Nothing makes the bedroom buzz with erotic electricity like debuting a dirty act you've always been curious about, especially if you think it's kinda kinky. Spontaneously slipping a novel technique into your lusty lineup will elevate an ordinary sex session into a reckless, fasten-your-seat-belt romp, according to Eve Hogan, author of Intellectual Foreplay. It will also open your eyes to erogenous zones you never knew you had. And because you can't anticipate how your man will react when you, say, pin him down on the kitchen table for impromptu passion (though our very informal survey says the most likely response will be some stuttering, a gargantuan grin, and a showering of praise and appreciation), you'll get an extra jolt of excitement. And his heart will race just wondering what could possibly be next on your sexual agenda. Surprises to spring on him: Tackle him in the shower for some one-foot-on-the-soap-dish dirty time, or reenact a Sex and the City scene that gave you a shiver.

Dare to...Booty-Call Him at Work

Dial your boyfriend when you know he's slaving away at his office and purr into the phone that you'll be at home, waiting for some noontime nooky or ready to start your own private happy hour just around quitting time. Calling in a quickie as soon as your mouth waters for it is all about instant gratification. "The idea that you're willing to drop everything else to have sex is exhilarating," Laura Corn, author of The Great American Sex Diet: Where the Only Thing You Nibble on...Is Your Partner! explains, "because you're acting purely on animal impulse." Making the bold, determined move to get the lovin' you want fast will have you on passionate pins and needles and him defying time, traffic, and yellow lights to get home and put out the fire in your pants.

Dare to...Put the Porn On

If the mere thought of renting a porno feels smutty, then it's definitely time to pick one up. From the spine-tingling moment you venture into the adult section of the video store to the second you surprise your guy with a skin flick and wait breathlessly for his randy response, taking the plunge into porn will add fiery fervor to your real-life bump and grinds. Like catching an eyeful of your randy neighbors mid-nooky, observing overheated couples and their this-close thrusting onscreen feels totally taboo. For Christine,* 26, just knowing her boyfriend was getting off on her watching made her quiver. "The first time we rented a porno, I was immediately engrossed," she recalls. "But then I realized Dave couldn't take his eyes off me. Keeping my eyes glued to the screen while Dave watched my reactions made me feel naughty. Soon after, we were having sex so hot that the porn looked tame in comparison." If you're less than bold about shopping for a sex flick, drive to a store in another neighborhood, shop online, or go to a place that stocks X-rated movies on the shelves, rather than behind the counter where you have to request them.

*Names have been changed.

Dare to...Pump Up the Dirty Dialogue

We all know that guys dig verbal action in bed, but whispering those lusty lines in public where anyone can overhear you will turn his knees (and yours) to jelly. While watching a stuffy play or at a family reunion, squeeze his inner thigh and tell him exactly what you'll do to him later — right down to the tongue trick you'll tease him with and the lace thong you'll wear. Your drive home will be deliciously thrilling. And because we're programmed to think of men as the bearers of bawdy come-ons, mouthing off to him is liable to give both of you heart palpitations, says Corn. "Plus, because you're in public and you can't satisfy your cravings," she notes, "you'll see, smell, taste, and hear nothing but sex — and be burning with desire by the time you're finally alone."

Dare to...Create an Alter Ego

Role-playing is one of the best ways to add risky razzle-dazzle to your romps. Swap your normally shy side for a more wicked persona or become uncharacteristically virginal for the night — developing a steamy new you helps you shed your inhibitions and frees you to do anything you damn well please. "Showing your partner parts of your sexual personality he's never seen before is a little scary, but that's exactly what makes it so sexy," says Liszt. Suddenly, it's not you in bed with your boyfriend but an oversexed policewoman or a shy cheerleader. And she, er, you can take your mattress mambo to a place you've never been before — and beyond. You can start by identifying your role with a few lusty lines ("You didn't behave, and now it's time for detention"). Or ease him into your new act with provocative hints ("Someone else might be joining us in the bedroom tonight") and clues (a pair of stilettos in his closet or a studded collar in his briefcase).

Dare to...Leave the Lights On

Resist the urge to lunge for the lamp switch the minute he starts stroking your thigh, and get busy with the bulbs still burning. True, stripping down to your Skivvies under 60 watts may be terrifying, but you might be surprised by how much you end up loving the spotlight. With every touch, lick, and hip swivel on display, any sex act will turn into a daring feat of exhibitionism. If bright lights make you run for cover, install a dimmer switch or try blindfolding yourself the first time to give you the thrill of putting on a peep show without the reminder that he can see all. "Since most of us are used to lights-out sex," says Corn, "watching his face, eyes, and body responding to you adds an exhilarating element to your bedroom grooves."

Dare to...Make Him Your Love Slave

Slip on your power panties and command your boyfriend to give you the pleasure performance of your choice. Telling him how you want to be manhandled might feel high-wire-act treacherous, but it's guaranteed to give you both shivers. We're guessing he'll love being bossed around, and you know that when he follows your dirty demands, you're in for the ride of your life. Being vividly verbal also shows him that you burn for amazing sex as much as he does. "Sex with my girlfriend is intense because she's fearless enough to ask for exactly what she wants," says Gary, 29. "She's not weighed down by inhibitions, so I don't hold back my desires." Start by tapping into what tops your sexual wish list — this will make it easier to picture yourself commanding it. Then, when you're feeling frisky, look him in the eyes and firmly tell him to, say, remove your undies and run his tongue south from your navel to your pleasure zone. No doubt he'll rise to the occasion.

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4 LINES A GUY CRAVE HEARING

If you’re looking for ways to make your guy feel kingly, quit overthinking it. All you need to do is lay one of these powerful phrases on him, then watch a smile creep across his face.

“I’ll give it a try.”
Whether it’s sampling our exotic drink concoction, hopping on a kite board on vacation, or spicing things up between the sheets, guys love a woman who’s game for new stuff. It shows that you’re confident enough to let us see you outside your comfort zone and that you’re not about to let the relationship get stale. “I couldn’t believe it when my girlfriend agreed to come to a pro-wrestling show with me,” says John, 21. “She always makes fun of the ‘so fake’ moves when I watch it on TV, but she ended up having a great time.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.”
Granted, we don’t expect to hear this if we stumble in at 3 a.m., smeared with lipstick that’s not yours. But there are times when letting us off the hook is a very cool move — like on occasions when we’re running 10 minutes late for a dinner with friends. Or when we are stuck under a rain cloud and don’t feel like talking. “When I have a bad day, the last thing I want to do is relive it,” says Matt, 29. “Give me some space and I promise I’ll come clean when I’m ready.” The lack of pressure in the short run will make us more apt to open up in the long run.

“Wow! Where did you learn that?”
Try this in the bedroom and you’ll boost our sexual confidence into the stratosphere for this reason: Every guy wants to be first to conquer uncharted pleasure territory. And once we know that something we did works, we’re likely to do it again...and again. “I read about how much fun ice can be under the covers,” says Owen, 26. “My girlfriend loved it so much that, even now, she sometimes brings up how creative it was.”

“I need your opinion.”
Asking for our guidance lets us know you’re interested in what we have to say, rather than just using us as your sounding board while you vent. Besides, many dudes consider themselves experts on lots of things — from gadget shopping to financial advice to workplace revenge — so we feel validated when you actually believe we’re qualified to help you out with a dilemma. But start with something less loaded than “Which outfit makes me look less fat: the jeans or the dress?” That’s just not fair.





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WHAT HIS CUDDLING BODY LANGUAGE REVEALS

He throws an arm around you.

"Putting one arm around you is not a very intimate move," says Andersen. "It's sort of the bare minimum — he's doing the requisite cuddle, but without adjusting his position or comfort level at all." The good news: He recognizes that close contact is important to you and respects your needs enough to snuggle, even if it is just for your sake. At least he takes direction well when it comes to pleasing you, including sexually. Give him some guidance and he'll likely get it right from then on.

He puts his head in your lap.

If you're a woman who loves taking care of a guy, you've hit the jackpot. "Men who prefer this position tend to be a little needy in relationships — they look to their girlfriends to make them feel good about themselves," explains Peter A. Andersen, PhD, professor of communications at San Diego State University and author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Body Language. "He's also comfortable with his emotions, very sensitive, and willing to share what's in his head." This dude wants to make you happy — he'll lavish you with erotic attention and make it his mission to help you reach ultimate bliss.

He spoons you.

Think about this snuggle position: curled up body-to-body, your bum pressed to his package, his hands free to roam around up front. Hello, definitely not PG-rated! "He's a really physical person who enjoys the feeling of your form against his, and he may have a high sex drive as well," says Nelson. "But while he truly enjoys the contact of cuddling, he might not be as comfortable expressing himself emotionally." Expect him to show you his affection with his gestures and actions, rather than with words.

He pulls you onto his chest.

While this dude may present himself as a tough guy, he's really a big softie. "By bringing you close to his heart, he's symbolically showing you that he's attached," explains communication expert Audrey Nelson, PhD, author of You Don't Say. "Holding you against a masculine part of his body — his chest — is also his way of letting you know he can protect you."

This dependable nurturer loves taking care of his woman, whether he's hanging shelves or propping you up after a work debacle. In bed, he's likely to take charge as well — he'll favor man-on-top positions like missionary and doggie-style.

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why Love can make you crazy.....

Google-Earthing his house. Mentally decorating the place you’re sure you are going to share one day, even though you’ve only been on a few dates. Feeling insanely jealous when he talks to a female friend. Any of these behaviors ring a bell? If so, congrats — it means you’ve probably been in love.

Most women find themselves acting a bit uncharacteristically cuckoo after they fall hard for a guy, and there’s a physiological reason why passion can have such a strange effect. “Being in love floods your system with mood-altering chemicals,”
“These chemicals throw off your normal brain chemistry, tampering with your common sense and judgment.”

“It’s called falling in love for a reason — it comes upon us quickly and knocks us off our feet,”. All the emotional tumult can trigger obsessive, impulsive actions.

And though the vast majority of women won’t do anything that’s dangerously off the wall, being in love has pushed some chicks over the edge when conditions were right. Cases in point: Lisa Nowak, the NASA astronaut who allegedly drove 900 miles this past February (reportedly wearing an adult diaper!) to attack a woman who was dating her ex. And a few months before, a young Belgian skydiver allegedly sabotaged her friend’s parachute after learning that the friend had had an affair with her boyfriend, ultimately leading to the friend’s death.


Why Love Can Make You Crazy


BIZARRO BEHAVIOR 1: You Get Stalkerish
When you’re head over heels, it’s normal to crave constant contact with your guy — so much so that when you’re physically apart, you become kind of a stalker-lite: You pepper him with texts, call repeatedly, even check his Facebook profile during downtime at work...despite the fact that you saw it an hour ago. You know it’s over the top, but you just can’t help yourself.

And you’re right: You can’t help yourself. “When you’re really into a guy, you experience a surge of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that stimulates the reward center of your brain and makes you crave your partner very bad,” says Fisher. “You get an intense rush of pleasure whenever you see or hear from him, and because of this, being with him becomes your primary goal, overriding everything else.”

Dopamine also activates your anterior cingulate, an area of the brain that helps you focus. As a result, you’re always thinking of ways to get close to him. It’s linked to our most basic evolutionary survival techniques. “The mental mechanism that alerts us when we need essentials, like food and water, also kicks into gear when we’re in love,” says Lucy Brown, PhD, professor of neuroscience at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. If you’re really thirsty, for example, getting water becomes your overriding goal. Romantic passion works the same way: All your energy is funneled into wanting your man, so it seems impossible to concentrate at work because your mind is always on him.

What makes a woman go from sane to psycho: If the man you’re wild about is mostly unavailable or plays mind games, you may develop what Fisher calls frustration attraction: He strings you along, which drives you to take increasingly extreme measures to connect with him. This anguish can cause some women to reach a breaking point. “Their impulse control goes by the wayside, and they may become true stalkers,” says Fisher.

BIZARRO BEHAVIOR 2: You Rush into Things
Ever felt such a strong connection with a new guy that you hit the relationship fast-forward button? For example, even though you know you’re not actually in love after dating for a week, you can’t help uttering the L word. You probably know someone who moved in with her man astoundingly quickly. Hell, practically every week a new celeb duo gets engaged as fast as they drive their Maybachs around L.A.

Again, it’s those feel-good brain chemicals that compel you to accelerate things. “The chemical spike you get when you’re with your partner is so pleasurable, you’ll do whatever it takes to affirm that he feels just as strongly about you,” says Arthur Aron, PhD, professor of social psychology at Stony Brook University.

In other words, you want to cement what, in your mind, could be the most important relationship of your life, and diving headfirst into commitment is one way to assure it can be a reality. On top of this, your ability to reason flies out the window once you’re hooked. Research has shown that people who are in love experience decreased activity in the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain associated with decision making. “Because you’re channeling the vast majority of your mind power on your mate, that compromises your capacity for rational thought,” says Fisher.

A third factor amping your desire to speed things along: Despite the euphoria of those first kisses and dates, the initial stages of infatuation can be incredibly unsettling. “You aren’t sure yet where you stand with your mate, so you’re anxious to shake the ambiguity,” explains Regan. So exchanging I-love-yous or taking things to the next level nails down his intentions and eases your mind.

What makes a woman go from sane to psycho: Having an extremely impatient personality can compel a lovestruck woman to pump the gas on her relationship so much that she may find herself discussing potential baby names without even knowing if the guy wants kids in the first place...a big-time turn-off for him.


BIZARRO BEHAVIOR 3: You Become Super-Jealous
No matter how self-assured you are, it’s normal to have romantic envy when you’re with a new guy. For example, you imagine your man is flirting with other chicks when he’s out with his buddies, even though he gives you no reason not to trust him. Or you’re tempted to hit up a party where your man’s ex will be, just to check her out.

Getting green-eyed when you fall in love is natural because your bond with your guy is still fragile. “Jealousy is driven by uncertainty,” says Regan. “Since the rules of your relationship are up in the air in the beginning, you aren’t sure where you stand.”

It’s also part of our DNA to fend off romantic competition so we get the best catch. “Jealousy is somewhat a biological adaptation to help us lock down a mate and prevent him from leaving us for someone else,” says jealousy expert Robert Lefton, PhD, CEO of Psychological Associates, a consulting company in Saint Louis. Our brains send warning signals that there’s a potential rival, urging us to keep other women at bay. Luckily, this suspicious state of mind likely won’t last — as you get to know him and build trust, your envy abates.

Playing into the equation too: When you’re lovesick, your levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin — which works to keep us happy and calm — may drop by as much as 40 percent, says Donatella Marazziti, MD, professor of psychiatry at the University of Pisa. A change in serotonin can spur jealousy (while levels of the stress hormone cortisol rise). That’s why an innocent comment, like the mention of a cool female coworker, can kick-start your envy. Normally, you’d be unfazed, but with your serotonin bottoming out, the littlest things can make you rabid.

What makes a woman go from sane to psycho: Slipping your arm around your guy’s waist when he’s talking to another chick at a party to convey you’re a couple is one thing, but other women take it too far, like accidentally- on-purpose spilling a drink on her. “Due to variances in our brain chemistry, some people are biologically prone to become suspicious and overreact,” explains Lefton. Also, having been cheated on in the past can cause you to exaggerate the danger of a perceived romantic threat.

Going Nuts for a New Man?
These tips will help pull you back from the brink of batty.

Get a friend’s take. Talk to a trusted pal about how off-the-wall you’ve been feeling lately, and ask her to step in if she thinks you’re acting kookily out of character.

Create some space. It’s hard but worth it — cutting back on your time with your guy, especially the number of nights you sleep over together, will help you catch your breath and gain perspective and self-control.

Sweat it out. It may sound simplistic, but physical activity will ease your anxiety. Also, mind/body workouts like tai chi help you focus on the present so you don’t obsess about the future.

Seek help. Still spiraling? Schedule a session — alone or with your guy — to see a therapist. She’ll help you figure out if your obsession is dangerous and/or masking deeper issues.

Source: Psychologist Barry G. Ginsberg, PhD, Director of the Center of Relationship Enhancement






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I don't want you to date other people. It may not be enough for you, but I'm trying here so I don't want you to date anybody but me. That's it. Except, I'm scared as hell to want you, but here I am, wanting you anyway. And fear means I have something to lose, right? And I don't want to lose you.

I think it's better to have someone, even if it hurts, even if it is the most painful thing you have done, even if it's the most painful thing you've ever had to do. I think it's better to have someone.

“Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year. It’s an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. What’s important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it’s also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to.”
A wise man once said you can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. What he meant is nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you’re willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right, and letting someone in means abandoning the walls you’ve spent a lifetime building. Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don’t see coming, when we don’t have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that’s when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear.”

ANOTHER VALENTINE TANTRUM

Dr. Meredith Grey: You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true...


Well I don't know about fairytales and me I just don't have that in me..it's so classic..I mean when I was a kid I played with marbles, rubber bands, hide and seek and throwing slippers to that empty can and run as fast as you can to get that slipper again and get back in line. Well the thing is barbies have never been me, or disney fairytales nope I guess I have always been realistic even as a child. I thank myself for that. I've seen girlfriends go yankees over boyfriends who doesn't meet their cinderella and the prince needs. Or the saving Ranpunzel kind of feeling. I am more like Fiona and Shrek type of girl hehehe...!!! But Yeah I guess we all have our own ways to maintain the hope wether it's not thinking about it or fantasizing friday evening that prince charming will ride that white rose and might just rescue you for just one night.... I just like having things come as they go...well that's just me I guess...as long as I love and I'm loved that's the most important thing for me. the other things??? well you just gotta have to work that out together. At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

VALENTINES AND ALL ITS TANTRUMS...

So first I must say HAPPY VALENTINES TO ALL

My day went something like this: nice morning cuddling with my boo...nice and easy breakfast at 10 am and followed on by lunch and a movie trip, late afternoon nap... woke up having my boo's arms around me, wondering is this all? I have to confess I'm a woman of questions especially when it comes to love but what I'm really about is decisions. I like making them and because I get excited to see the outcome of my decisions. When I decide it's hard to change my mind, when I make a decision I stick to it through every circumstances until I feel it's unfair then I let go. But when it comes to love it's really hard to be a stubborn and consistent person, this thing conquers all, disregard all personalities...and leave you there with a single beat in your heart yet you are happy. What is it really with love that even the smartest, the most genius man on earth can be turned into a fool or childish or even crazy.??? are we victims of it? the hearts the red and warth image of it? hhmmppp Later that day I watch sex and the city and here's one of Carries genuis quote ''I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love, the you, you love, well, that's just fabulous.''