thank you lord for last night for my boo and I had the chance to talk everything through with what happened in manila. Thank yo for letting us cool down first before we had to face each other. Thank you for keeping our minds open and full of understanding. Thank you also for today, ......


Help me Lord bring peace on my mind. Help me find my way, myself and my purpose. Help me lord to find strength in you and in people who loves me. I am here, opening my heart to you, take me guide me and protect me.






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I believe there's a place where the restless souls wander,
burned by the weight of their own sadness,
they wait for a chance to set the wrong things right.
only then can they be reunited with the ones they love.
Sometimes, a crow shows them the way beacuse,
sometimes love is stronger than death.

Faith makes all things possible.
Love makes them easy.
♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥

beginning are usually scary
and ending are
usually sad
but its everything in between that makes it all
worth living

♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥

to dwell in the past
leads a savage heart
but to stay inthe now
breads a fresh new start for the future
we hold cannot tell
for the chance we take reads a whole new tale

♥ ♥ ♥ In life, we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we had the right decisions but the truth is we can’t search for what is not there. Things happen because it is meant to happen. That’s why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don’t love us and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts. At the end of the day, the lesson you get are the answers to your decisions. ♥ ♥ ♥

Trust is a fragile thing.
Once earned,
it affords us tremendous freedom.
But once trust is lost,
it can be impossible to recover.
Of course the truth is,
we never know who we can trust.
Those we're closest to can betray us,
and total strangers can come to our rescue.
In the end,
most people decide to trust only themselves.
It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned.
♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥

Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances, you just have to live life to the fullest. laugh as much as you can, spend all your money, tell someone what they mean to you, tell someone off, speak out, dare to be different, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, pig out, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, && smile till your face hurts. don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because when you look back someday, knowing you have no regrets its going to be what makes you smile.
♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥



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"We all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still, the expected is just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives."






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"What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again."




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"Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be. The people who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want."





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Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without. Intimacy also comes attached to the three R's... relatives, romance, and roommates. There are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know.




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“I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope...”





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“Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more.”





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“Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?”





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“Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.”





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At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.





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You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.




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We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself. The future is never the way we imagined it.





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A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.






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In our life we see addiction everyday, it's shocking how many addiction there is. It would be too easy if it was just drugs, booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean we get addicted for a reason right?
often too often, things that start out just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive compulsive and out of control. It's the high of chasing. The high that makes everything else fade away. Still they say you don't kick the habit till you hit rock bottom. Then how will you know when you are there.? coz no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, soemtimes letting go hurts even more.....




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i fear no more

Change we don't like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt tp change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it's not is lying. But here's the truth sometimes, the more things change the more it stays the same. Sometimes change is everything.




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The vacation

I went home june 18 day before Angelas bday, had 12 days of vacation with my kids. Sent Angela to school, Star child innovative learning academy. She was so excited, she was a week late but she did very well. Came home with a star everyday. hehehhe. She had no problem being there by herself, she actually sends me home and tell me to fetch her when the calsses are over. really cute... Unfortunately Ashley had been sick while I was there, she is teething again. So I spent most of my time carrying her. oh I miss them so much. On june 19 had a little bday celebration for angela, bought her cake that she likes, had my mommy cook her spaghetti, round 5pm had my cousins and neighbors over for spag and cake. She was happy even it's a small bday party. as long as she gets to blow the candles she's happy. Unfortunately we didn't have any camera so I couldn't take any pictures of them to blog. huhuhuhu. On Ashleys bday june 30 I had made the same for her spaghetti and cake and Kaldereta for the adults to eat, it was her bday and my despedida night. So I had Ogie, Jan2x and Bigong over for a couple of beers and dinner of course. And july 1 I headed back to Manila, July 2 started to work again. Ashley didn't wanna let me go when she saw the baggage and I was all dressed up to leave. I had promised Angela to call when I get to Manila. She told me mommy picked her up from school and she recieved a star again from her teacher. She asked when I will be back from work to make hatid her sa school. I almost cried. I miss them so much........






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The Seven Auspicious Mountains on Your Hand

Mounts Reveal Strong or Weak Leadership Potential According to the Tung Shu, the Chinese Almanac, there are seven mountains on the inner palm of the hand which reveal the inner attributes and determination levels of each person. The contours of these mountains tell us much about a person’s character and personality and they are named after the seven planets that correspond to the planets of the Great Bear. Whether the mountains bring luck or not depends on how “fleshy” and prominent they are on the palm. When they are full and obvious to the eye, they always indicate good fortune. When all seven mountains are full and prominent, this indicates a fleshy hand which is always indicative of a good and long life.

The Mountain of Jupiter This occurs as a slight raising of the flesh at the base of the index finger. If this area is full and fleshy and is matched with a long index finger, it shows that this person is very ambitious, has strong leadership abilities and has a tendency to be bossy. He/she has the fate to be the boss in any situation and is able to manage and control others. This is an honest and optimistic person, but also someone who enjoys power. If this part of the hand is flat however, such a person lacks confidence and could suffer from occasional personality disorders. If it is overdeveloped, this person can be overly arrogant, proud and egoistic. Too high a mountain suggests someone hungry for power who could be ruthless in the pursuit of such power.

The Mountain of Apollo This is a raising of the flesh at the base of the ring finger. A well-developed Mountain of Apollo suggests someone warm, optimistic and radiating great enthusiasm. When this part of the hand is flat, the person can be cold and cynical, lacking appreciation of the finer things of life. When the Mountain of Apollo is overdeveloped, such a person tends to be brash, insensitive and boastful.

The Mountain of Saturn This is located at the base of the middle finger. When this mountain appears full and well developed, this person possesses a good sense of responsibility and is concerned with seeking wisdom in the management of others. He/she will thus be a compassionate kind of leader. An overdeveloped Mountain of Saturn indicates someone strong and silent, who can come across as cold and unfeeling, often to the point of appearing unfeeling and haughty. This kind of person can be very difficult to understand. When this mountain is flat, the person is rarely serious and frivolous most of the time.

The Mountain of Moon This is located at the base of the palm where it joins the wrist. A person with an overdeveloped Moon Mountain tends to be unpredictable and often changes his/her mind frequently. When well developed, this person is caring and compassionate as well as creative and imaginative. When it is flat, the person will always allow emotional matters and problems to be obstacles. This is a person who cannot sustain long term trust or relationships. There is little stability in his/her friendships.

The Mountain of Mercury This is located at the base of the small finger. A full and fleshy Mountain here along with a long small finger exceeding the first joint of the ring finger indicates a person who is responsive, flexible, intelligent, quick thinking with admirable social skills. Such persons are likely to become very successful as business leaders with good strategic minds. They make great and successful entrepreneurs. Physically, most of them are short in body height. When Mount Mercury is overdeveloped, this person is a consummate liar who is charming but cunning, and likely to cheat in love. Need to be careful of this person and when the Mountain is flat, the person tends to be very shy and diffident.

The Mountain of Venus This is located at the base of the thumb. A person with a thick and fleshly Venus mountain will be noted for their great luck in romance. People find them warm, generous and very attractive. They also bring great vibrations to any of their relationships as they have much to offer in terms of companionship, social life and sexuality. When the mount is overdeveloped, it shows a greedy, intense person who is overly indulgent in sex, food and relationships. They are very attached to worldly pleasures and crave stimulation all the time. When it is flat, it shows a lack of vitality and passion so there are streaks of cool selfishness in this person who is also usually incapable of giving.

	The Mountain of Mars (Upper Mars Hill) This is located above the end of the head line. A well developed mountain at this place indicates resilience to setbacks, great courage ability to survive under any conditions.

The Mountain of Mars(Lower Mars Hill) This is located below the beginning of the head line. A full and fleshly Lower Mars Mountain indicates someone very ambitious, courageous and brave. These are natural fighters who make breathtakingly bold moves in both the corporate world and at war. So they make good CEOs and Generals; but they sometimes act impulsively with terrible consequences.

Enhance Your Charisma and Inner Strength

Learn how to improve your finances, your career and your confidence with this series of special energy rituals. Each of these routines will boost your personal success, thereby enhancing your charisma and inner strength. Enjoy feeling your life improve as you systematically tick off each of these activities off your checklist.

1. Sprout a Plant in the Southeast to Bring in a New Source of Income
By placing sprouting plants in SE, you simulate the auspicious presence of sheng chi and create multiple sources of income. If there is no growth in the Southeast, wealth energy becomes increasingly depleted.

2. Place a Water Feature in the Southwest
To attract serious wealth into your life, choose a substantial sized water feature – i.e. a pool or fishpond - dug into the ground in the Southwest part of your garden. This activates the indirect spirit of the period of eight and is an extremely powerful way to attract abundance luck to the family.

3. Hang A Mandala on Your South Wall
Mandalas reflect the powerful energies of heaven and earth, which can then combine with the energy of the people in the home. This forms the powerful trinity of feng shui “ Tien Ti Ren”. A beautiful and well-drawn mandala will ensure your house is properly safeguarded and will also encourage good health for all residents.

4. Place a Red Jewel in the Earth Sectors for Wealth Luck
Select a red wish-fulfilling jewel. Wrap it in a red or yellow cloth and bury it in the SW or NE corner of your garden, or both. If you are sensing obstacles to your prosperity luck, this ritual will help you overcome them.

5. Throw a Party on a Special Day
It is always good to bring a blast of yang energy into your home. Invite a group of friends who care for you, whose auras glow with good will for you and who are happy to come together in celebration with you. Good feng shui parties will dissolve any negative energy that has gotten stuck in your home, transforming it instead into positive chi.

6. Allow Yang Energy into the Facing Palace of your Home
The facing palace is the part of the house where chi enters and distributes. Make sure it is clutter-free and brightly lit. Place Fu Dogs to guard your home from any harmful energy entering via the main door.

7. Wear a Transformation Fan pendant
The fan is powerful symbol that can transform bad luck into good luck. It wards off the bad vibes of negative gossip and the ill intentions of others. It is the best way to bring good luck back into your life, especially if you have recently been suffering from a spate of bad luck.

8. Draw the Dollar Sign on your Hand Every Day for 15 Days
Use red cinnabar to draw the dollar sign on the palm of your hand for the 15 days of the waxing moon. As you write, concentrate your thoughts so that the sign is imbued with the power of your belief and positive energy.

9. Energize a Room with the Sun and Moon sign
The signs of the Sun and Moon have an empowering energy when combined. It also signifies the balance of yin and yang. Place this symbol in your home to activate their special energy.

10. Wear the Wishfulfilling Mantra Ring at all times
Wear the mantra ring on any finger to create a protective aura and defend against negative vibes. It helps you achieve your desires when worn. Your goals can be for spiritual, emotional, mental, physical and material fulfillment. You can also wear the mantra ring on a chain around your neck.

11. Fire up your Love Life with Peach Blossom Luck
Identify your personal peach blossom animal. This will be either the Horse, the Rooster, the Rabbit or the Rat depending on your animal sign. Place a symbol of your peach blossom animal in a prominent place in its corresponding part of thye house. Then identify the peach blossom location of this year or the coming one. Activate the sector with a symbol of your peach blossom animal. This will energize your love life with new possibilities.

12. Place a Metal Feature in the Northwest
Protect the luck of the family’s breadwinner by placing Ksitigarbha’s six ring staff in the Northwest. You can also use a metallic sculpture of your choice if that is your preference. But make sure the sculpture you use is non-threatening and without poison arrows. The Northwest is the symbolic place of the father or leader of your house, and if he does well, so will the entire family by extension.

13. Place a Painting of 100 Birds just Outside your Front Door
Birds symbolize a variety of opportunities that have the potential to change one’s life for the better. They are also bringers of good news into the home. The more birds the better and it doesn’t matter what type they are, although colourful plumage is particularly auspicious.

14. Place Sea Salt or Rock Salt Inside your Wallet to Attract Cash Luck
Sea salt has great cleansing properties but also has the capacity to attract wealth. Sewing several grains of sea salt into a small pouch in your wallet will attract cash into it and ensure money doesn’t leave your wallet.

15. Create an Aquarium filled with Little Fish for Career Luck
To boost you career luck, activate the North corner in your home with an aquarium. Make sure it is properly maintained. The swimming fish provide a constant source of yang energy in the North sector.







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wasn't it you????

Var det ikke dig der nægtede børnene? var det ikke dig der kom med alle de løgne historie om hvem du er og hvad du lavede? var det ikke dig der nægtede din egen familie? var det ikke dig der såret en hel masse den gang? var det ikke dig der har valgt om du skal være en del af børnenes liv? er det ikke dig der selv valgte at lukke os ude af dit liv og forsat med dit andet liv som en flight attendant og som christian på internettede og nægtede at du havde børn?- hvis det er rigtig hvorfor er det så mig der skal betale for dine løgner hvorfor er det så mig der skal have al skylden? jeg fatter det ikke, for selvom da vi ikke længere var sammen pressede jeg dig til at se dine døtre, jeg var altid den der tog det første skridt så vi havde en god kommunikations forhold, atleast for our kids. Jeg hjalp dig igennem dine svære tider og jeg var der altid for dig som din veninde. men du skubbede os væk fra dit liv. Jeg kan ikke forstår nu hvorfor jeg skal betale for det. når det er dig der havde fuckede det hele op. Jeg var altid den der prøvet at vi skulle have det bedre, mht til vores børn. jeg var altid den der kontaktede dine familie så de kunne være en del af børnenes liv. Jeg har aldrig spurgt om penge fra dig eller en anden form for økonomiske støtte, jeg tog det hele på eget hånd og var stolt at kunne gøre det på en legal måde. Jeg prøver at ligge det hele bag mig nu men når det hele bliver gravet op igen så er det svært at sove om natten. var det ikke dig der ikke ringede for at spørge om hvordan dine børn har det? var det ikke dig der ikke ringede til deres fødselsdage? eller til jul? var det ikke dig der glemmer de ting en far skal gøre? det er unfair, det hele er. for jeg prøver så meget at kæmpe for at børnene ikke skal vokse op med had overfor deres far. Du har aldrig været mand nok til at komme til mig og spørge om tilgivelse, det gør det endnu sværre at gør, jeg fatter det ikke. det re som om man er i det samme kreds igen.


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