Lord give the strength to go on today. Help me achieve what is in my heart. I have no fighting spirit for my work I hate sitting here in front of my pc 7 hours a day, calling people and convincing them to invest in something so stupid as a homepage worth thousand of danish kroner.I just feel like my life is such a waste sitting here. Not earning enough for my needs and for my familys needs. I might sound selfish and unthankful right now, but I feel I need to be out there doing something else. This is just not my line, this is not me. Lord help me find my way to success help me achieve what my heart desires,my expences here are double up than what I have when I am in Davao. Imagine this I have to send money to provide for my kids that would be the electricity the food the water the milk and the tuition fee. While im here in Manila I would have to pay for the rent food and transportation. In my case thats a lot for a small salary. Well I have been lucky enough to have a salary bigger than what other callcenters offer here in Philippines. At the same time I am far away from my kids. Of course I can bring my kids to Manila so the budget would be one for me and my kids. But then I have to find a house for us to live and school for my eldest daughter and of course a maid I can trust while I'm at work. Doesn't seem to sound stupid this solution to my problem. One thing is darn hard to do the palnning is the money to start the plan. I like my life is such a challenge right now. I am thankful that God has never abandoned me. I am thankful that I have a grandmother who is healthy still to take care of my kids while I'm working here in Manila. I am thankful that my mom once in awhile helps me financially. It is a relief. But What my heart desires is far from the life I am living right now. And No i wish not to have a life full of material things. I just wanna be able to be with my kids at the same time and be able to have a job where I can help people.

the things unnoticed are the things you need the most. where do I begin. I have never even imagined myself being in this situation well I must say that I leave it all to the faith I have in God. he knows best and that I can assure myself with that. I have heard few advices from closest friend. Some of them were really touching and true some hurts to hear but that I needed also. So here I am ready to take the step. Thats in fact what I have done 3 weeks ago. just ride it all out. the pain the change and the surprises it all brigns with it. At times I feel like I want to give it all up for nothing but I had friends who were there to support me and get me back on track. That is one of the blessings as well... that i truly honestly appreciate.I am now gone to the point of letting go. Starts where I should forgive myself for the thigns that I have made, the wrong decisions that I have made. And I have to love myself to be able to love another and to be able to recieve more blessings in my life. I have to forgive others for the pain that they have caused. I have to realize to acknowledge the things that have happened. I need to reconcile with myself. make changes and stick to it. first my lifestyle, even if it means turning back on some friends then let it be. If it means sacrifices then let it be. if that leads me to a better and more constractive life then let it be it. this is the my moment of truth. Ive been slapped by reality now its time to wake up.

i believe all good things happen to people because they mindset themselves to it. No one can go back and make a brand new start, however anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."

p.s.

it's not up to me anymore if you really want me to be in your life you'll find a way to put me there....

The times we've shared are precious to me they still are. And I haven't regret anything from it. I learned and I have been happy for the given time we've had. I cannot say that we met at the wrong time. because I dont believe that, we met because we had to learn things from each other. All the pains laughters and joy we've been through are the things we need to experience. I have always known the risks that comes along choosing to be with you so for that I can say I wasnt surprise. I will love you till the end of time and I will understand I will be patiently waiting until I cant no more. In time you'll grow and In time I'll learn to love myself. And if fate allows it we will meet again and we will be ready to be together if fate has something else planned for us then let it be it. I just want to let you know I believe in you I believe that life has more to offer to you and I believe that your hope and dreams will become reality for you someday. I will pray for you each and every single day. That you will find happiness in your life that you truly deserve. even if your path wouldnt lead to mine i will be happy for you. I still hope though that we could be good friends and that there would be no hesitations because of our past. I want you to know I am not mad I am not bitter of the things that has caused our ending. I am happy in fact it happened coz there I knew and realized that i must have loved with you all this time.
I will say my goodbye now and I wish you all the best till the next time we will meet again i wish to see you smile. mwah mwah mwah....


quotes of the day:


We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.


I can't promise to solve all your problems, but I can promise you won't have to face them alone...

my prayer for today

Lord enlighten what is dark in me strengthen what is weak in me mend what is broken in me, bind what is bruised in me, hela what is sick in me straighten what is crooked in me and revive whatever love and peace have died in me. AMEN..

MY SWEET ESCAPE -THE productive weekend-

Weekend were spend with one of my closest friend Miss A. We went to this amazing rally of Forever Living. I've heard the most amazing stories from those who have been working for this company. It was so amazing. On sunday I joined the couple to church in makati. It was very amazing too. After the preaching we prayed and if I just knew i would cry my eyes out I would have brought a towel with me. The highlight of my sunday was I was able to get to talk to my kids thorugh my cousins cp. When I got home the crying continued, it was a relief though I had to get it out someday somehow i guees this was the time for it.

A sad day..which means I´m so tired and sick. I wanna go home to Davao. I´m missing my kids eveyr second.


“A wise man once said you can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. What he meant is nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you’re willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right, and letting someone in means abandoning the walls you’ve spent a lifetime building. Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don’t see coming, when we don’t have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that’s when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear.”

“What’s worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should’ve healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we’ve been and what we’ve overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That’s what we like to think. But that’s not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again.”

MY SWEET ESCAPE -THE MESSAGE-

its day of madness...had a fever last night and so i slept early, after having 2 cops of green tea with lemon, When I woke up this morning i recieved an invitation from a dear old friend of mine, inviting me to a reunion of childhood friends from km5 buhangin, I was so excited to tell her that I´m in Manila coz as she mentioned in her text she was here too and will be going home to davao either november or early december and it would be a really fun to have this reunion cause most of our childhood friends will definately be coming home to have christmas with their family. So we texted and texted about it, I have recieved vcards from her numbers of our childhood friends that she still has contact with. And I was thrilled....anyways the invi goes liek these..

Hello mga botete, its atits i'd like to invite you to join reunion of botetes this december please bring your own botete hahaha..what i mean is if you have kids and hubbies oh hubby pala or boylet/boytoy please bring them along we will meet at samal in our resort for a cool and fun botete catching adventure. please inform me on my facebook or this number if you are joining,,, we will find an exact date together those for you who wants to join please add dates on december that is best for you.. best regards Atits the palaka..

well we got into texting and she asked me when I will be back in davao and so on..until my inbox was full so i automatically just deleted everything there..well thats okey coz i have her number saved already in my phonebook. Well as I relplied her about botetelets chikas..as I explained to her why I was suddenly in manila and working here when I actually assured her that I will apply for Southernland company in Davao. And as I looked for her number on my phone I accidentally pushed send message and then it was sent to At*** instead and well what you think happened after that? hhmmpp..a reply of course from one I didnt want to hear from. So as a reaction I dropped my phone or rather threw my phone across the room (lucky me it hit the pillow first and then bounced to the wall...)

Well then there it goes again the things that shouldnt be said is said again well.. I was in bed still feeling awful, chose to ignore the text messages sent from him. I actually fell asleep and woke from a miss call when I looked at the time on my cp it was already 1 pm so i hurried up took my bag and went out. I had to get something to eat first. The weather was awful for soemone who have a fever, it was really hot warm and very uncomfortable then getting on an airconditioned bus didnt made any better. I was sweating at the same time freezing. But i thought I don't wanna go home I wanna fight this so i carried on, took another bus from Coastal Main Road. While I was in the bus I fell asleep and guess what I missed my stop. So I had to walk all the way back to the where I was gonna take my 3rd bus. Well it all went well by the way. So here I am in our iffice feeling I dont know what. Just finished my 2nd cop of tea with honey and I feel sleepy took flanx which obviously made me sleepy. So now doing something I shouldn't do writing on my blog. huhuhu...

well That was so far how my sweet escape went. Better Luck tomorrow.

QUOTES OF THE DAY

I didn't ask for it to be over, but then again, I never asked for it to begin. For that's the way it is with life, as some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance. But even the most beautiful days eventually have their sunsets

-ME-

I wanted a perfect ending, now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious amiguity.
-Gilda Radner

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
-Marilyn Monroe

MY SWEET ESCAPE -THE THRILL-

today i daydreamed of beach and sunny weather. Might be becoz I was freezing in our office and with a fever. I thought hhmm pictures of a white sand beaches might help to get backl in the mood for calling and booking. well i've got to realize life´s all about natural highs, when you feel the same you feel the sand between your toes. when your favorite song comes on the radio or you hear someones voice that you hadn't heard in forever. lifes about those snowy nights in front of the fire with a huge cup of hot cocoa. or sitting on your front lawn, watching fireworks on a hot summer night. lifes about going to parties with friends, or spending time with the loved ones. lifes about going to the pool and cooling off, or bundling up and playing in the snow. lifes about seeing people you haven't seen forever, or seeing that one person you love everyday.

these are the things i miss..hhmmm...i think im being tipsy from 2 500mg flanax hooo....

My Sweet Escape-my sweet goodbye-

I'm sorry to have to say this but I'm giving up on you,I don't believe in you anymore, I never really thought that would happen but you've proved your never gonna change. So have a nice life please don't ever come back to me.

My Sweet Escape-livign life-

Live your life as best you can. Never give up hope. With each breath you take remember what matters most. Live with no regrets and always forgive. You never know which day might be your last, if you have something to say, say it NOW! Reach for the stars, and know that they are NEVER too far away. Dreams CAN become reality but only if you take the steps necessary for that to happen.
Never be afraid of life, smile through the storm, laugh through the tears and always look for the rainbow.

- me

THE JOKES THAT MADE ME THROUGH THE DAY

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

- An e-mail


In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

- *email*

A LOGICAL SOLUTION.
Now here is a problem that finally has a formula for getting to the bottom of an age old problem.
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-*-*-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far a** kissing will take you.

A-*-*-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bulls**t and A** Kissing that will put you over the top.

- some big organization

15 THINGS TO MAKE YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU'RE INSANE!!
1. Follow them around the house everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Run into walls.
4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine
6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"
7. Wear a sticker that says, "I’m a retard"
8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time.
9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"
10. Do what they actually tell you.
11. Jump off the roof, trying to fly.
12. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people.
13. At everything they say yell, Liar.
14. Try to swim in the floor.
15. Tap on their door all night.


LITTLE TONY FROM BROOKLYN ON MATH

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU."

"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married ?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on'," but I like your thinking."


LITTLE TONY ON MATH

Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3,' " I said "6", replies TONY.

"But that's right !" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2 ?"

"What's the f ** king difference ?" asks the father.

"That's what I said !"


LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH

Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word ?"

Little TONY says, "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."

Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."


LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss !!"

The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN !"


LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael !"
Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY.

"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just f ** king beautiful !'"


LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER

Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time ?"

Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own f ** king business."


I LOVE Little Tony !!!!!


I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much.

And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart.

I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all! She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewelery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, lets go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over a frozen hell while monkeys fly out her bum.

*What Does Love Mean?*

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:


"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all even when his hands got arthritis, too. That's Love. Rebecca - age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." Nikka - age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old
clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you" Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget," Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. (Now this will melt your heart.) The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When
his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

Hope

Hope for the moment. There are times when it is hard to believe in the future, when we are temporarily just not brave enough. When this happens, concentrate on the present. Cultivate le petit bonheur (the little happiness) until courage returns. Look forward to the beauty of the next moment, the next hour, the promise of a good meal, sleep, a book, a movie, the likelihood that tonight the stars will shine and tomorrow the sun will shine. Sink roots into the present until the strength grows to think about tomorrow.

ArdisWhitman

MY SWEET ESCAPE

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

Bored At work

Well I've already done my score for today 2 bookings (thank you lord). So I gave myself 10min break to dig the internet for cool movie scenes. No matter what.. this is my favorite scene,quote and drama....THE NOTEBOOK ofcourse...I'm so in love with NOah..in Fact I'm so in love with the movie....hahahaha...


Young Noah: It's not about following your heart and it's not about keeping your promises. It's about security.
Young Allie: What's that supposed to mean?
Young Noah: [yelling] Money. He's got a lot of money!
Young Allie: You smug b******. I hate you for saying that.
Young Noah: You're bored Allie. You're bored and you know it. You wouldn't be here if there wasn't something missing.
Young Allie: You arrogant son of a b****.
Young Noah: Would you just stay with me?
Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'
Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a b**** and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Young Allie: So what?
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?
Young Allie: It's not that simple.
Young Noah: What... do... you... want? Whaddaya want?
Young Allie: I have to go now.

- The Notebook

Damaged people are dangerous because they know they can survive.

KEEP THE POSITIVE THOUGHTS COMING

At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place. But believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may, in fact, be the first steps of a journey.

FOR YOU...

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me. But it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once...and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember... to relax, and not try to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. Don't worry... you will someday.

MY SWEET ESCAPE towards reality

Todays event:m 1 booking yehey more to come lord. I'm back on track...
being out there is my status. hehehhe. Had a very long trip on my way to work today. I had recieved a very troubled text message, so my mind was so overwhelmed, i even got off the bus ealier than where I was suppose to hehehe so I had to take a cab to get to the office. But well that's okey thank you lord for a safety trip. Absent minded cannot happen again. Texted with Mael and Hazel today, and even chatted through ym with Hazel. thank you supportive friends. Mael be strong always and remember I am here for you no matter what happens. And same to you Hazel, i miss being with you every afternoon while my kids are taking their naps hehhehe. I miss our sessions...huhuhuhu. anyways thanks for believing in me that I can do this and I can be strong for myself. youøre so cool....




you've been running through my mind all day long
it's been hard
and it's been a big step for me to take this journey
but here I am in this big big city
enjoying the life I could never have when I'm with you
Enjoying the time where I should have never given you.
I am happier because of you,
because you've hurt me continuosly
because you made me start a better life
you made me stronger by breaking my heart
i give all the thanks to you
I can smile again
I am no longer afraid,
I am ME....

what not to do after a break up???

1. After a Break Up Don't: Remain 'Just Friends'

Accepting that your relationship is over is the very first step after a break up, and without this realization you'll be hard pressed to move on. Now is the time for renewal, not hopes for reconciliation. Sure, there may be a slight chance the two of you will get back together, but even the most astute 'get your ex back' manuals start with this first simple step: take a break.

Give yourself some time to mourn your loss. Get to know yourself as a single person. Toe your lines of independence and find out what makes you happy again. Staying friends with your ex will only prolong the pain. Think of any interaction with your ex like an addiction -- every single time you succumb, it'll be that much harder to refuse later.
2. After a Break Up Don't: Keep Remnants of the Relationship Lying Around

There are quite a few things considered 'remnants' of a relationship, including photos, cutesy trinkets, mementos, clothing, and even food. After a break up, especially if the two of you have children together, it can be challenging to remove all of these items from your home. Luckily that's not what I am asking you to do. Instead, fill a box with whatever items you feel will be necessary at some point in time in the future but still remind you strongly of your ex, and then put that box in a private, out-of-the way place for the time being. There will be more than enough reminders on a day-to-day basis of your ex's just because of how the human mind works. You won't need any extra help to add fuel to the break up fire.
3. After a Break Up Don't: Deny Negative Emotions That Surface

There is no doubt that you will feel strong emotions after a break up, such as loneliness, anger, fear, shame, uncertainty, humiliation, sadness, despair and jealousy. For many, these feelings will also surface physically, like crying or feeling like your heart is breaking.

Not only are these 'negative' emotions healthy, but they are important to feel in order to remain healthy. Sure, they seem miserable and probably don't make you feel better in the moment, but allowing yourself time to grieve is an important part of healing after a breakup. Plus, a scientific study undertaken in 1980 by Margaret Crepeau found that frequent criers are healthier people. So don't be afraid to comfort yourself via expressing your negative emotions.
4. After a Break Up Don't: Self-Medicate

If there were issues related to addictions, abuse, mental health (i.e. depression), or self-mutilation prior to your break up, please seek out professional help to assist with your specialized needs. (See: How Do I Find a Therapist?) The same goes for those finding themselves using drugs, alcohol, sex, cutting, or any other harmful self-medicating behaviors to cope with the pain after a break up. And if you feel the need to hurt yourself or someone else, please call a crisis hotline immediately.
5. After a Break Up Don't: Stop Taking Care of Yourself

Most people's basic needs are the same: food, sleep and protection from the elements (i.e. shelter and food). During a particularly difficult break up, some people aren't able to manage even these simple tasks -- which is understandable, although not acceptable.

If you cannot be your own best friend right now, ask for help. Talk to your friends, family, a counselor and/or loved ones and let them know you may need a bit of extra support in the next little while. Additionally, create a break up action plan to post in key places, such as on your fridge or hidden away in your desk at work. That way you'll have no only have people checking out for you, but you'll also have created a foolproof list of things that make you happy to refer to.