CANCER AND TAURUS

Cancer With Taurus:

Usually this makes the best of all love horoscope combinations. Cancer likes a good home with much affection, and so does Taurus. Deep inside this is what every Taurean hopes to find when undertaking conventional responsibilities (settling down). From an emotional point of view, there is nothing in the stars that bar the prospect of a happy married life between these zodiac sign match ups. One thing the Taurean must remember is that Cancer is exceedingly sensitive, and will crawl into a shell if unhappy emotionally. Taurus on the other hand, knows the Cancer's spirit and instinctively knows how to fix the problem once it arises.

cancer and taurus - astrological compatibility rank = 10 (10 is best)
Cancer and Taurus were just plain born for each other. With this in mind woe is either one if this sun sign relationship does not work out! Just as the love between these two will be the stuff of legends, so will the conflict. The reason for this is that even in hate, there will still be love, and this will be very confusing for both of them, the confusion will translate to fear, and this will make the conflict brutal. Lesson here? If you are in this type of a relationship you should make every effort to avoid alienation.


Cancer with Taurus

This combination could bring out the gentlest and most sensuous qualities in both of you. It could also bring out a lot of discussion about money, security, and what kind of home life you both want. However wild your youthful behaviour might be or have been, both of you secretly long for security and a beautiful place in which you can share intimate moments and enjoy the good things of life.

Through each other you might discover a strong desire for a family, and you might also discover that you are more conventional and concerned about being "respectable" than either of you had realised.

Taurus' earthy calm gives a feeling of safety and stability to Cancer's anxieties and volatile moods. Cancer's empathy and imaginative ability to enter into another person's inner world makes Taurus feel cherished, understood and loved.

Enjoy all that you share, and build that nest which matters so much to both of you. But try not to become so insulated and safety-conscious that you let the more unpredictable joys of life pass you by. Change can be good for both of you, however much you might protest.

You are a Cancer

Whether it's an old plastic bottle, an old lover, an old house, an old belief, an old memory, Cancer hangs on. One of your strongest urges is the urge for security, and security usually means clinging to the past. It's an emotional motivation, not a practical one. Beneath the Crab's tenacious penchant for not letting go of anything lies one of the most sensitive and vulnerable of all the zodiac signs. Moon-ruled, your apparently solid and conservative nature is perpetually washed by a cyclical ebb and flow of moods, desires, feelings, fantasies, dreams, fears and intuitions.

Yes, conservative. You Cancers know all about conservation. You'll carefully nurture and protect those tender feelings and creative imaginings beneath a bristling fortified wall of multiple bank accounts, share certificates, insurance policies, old photographs, family traditions, childhood friendships, and sometimes a super-rational attitude which appears to reject everything that lies on the invisible side of life.

Cancers are closet mystics, with poetry in their soul and the light of distant, dimly lit horizons in their eyes. Admittedly, not a lot of people may know that about you, and maybe you don't even know it about yourself. Except when the Moon changes phases and those secret dreams and imaginings rise up with the ebb and flow of the tide.

Yours is traditionally the sign of the family. That doesn't mean every Cancer wants, or should have, a family in the conventional sense. But a feeling of continuity with the past is terribly important for you. With roots firmly in the ground, you can indulge your wandering instinct, because there's something to come back to. And Crabs never move directly toward what they want. They circumambulate. "What, me? Interested in that? Don't be silly." But when you grab for the prize and those pincers close, you don't let go.

You dislike analysing motives, especially your own. You intuitively avoid possible rejection and humiliation - hence the often misread coolness which you present in situations where you feel vulnerable. But you're not cool, just intensely self-protective.

It's been said that Cancers are manipulative. This is absolutely true. You generally get what you want quietly and diplomatically, and half the time other people don't even realise you wanted it. Maybe sometimes you don't even realise yourself, until you've got there.

It's also been said about Cancer that the right hand often doesn't know what the left hand is doing. Of course you know, deep down. It's just that things are easier when they're dimly lit by the light of the Moon, not exposed for all to see in the harsh light of the noonday Sun.

Cancer is a water sign, with a gift for working subtly with feelings. Yes, you know how to use manipulation - atmospheres, hints, innuendoes, subtle ways of inducing guilt - to keep your loved ones close. The negative side of this is a propensity to employ emotional blackmail. But the positive side is a wonderful ability to guide and nurture without invasiveness. And behind even the most subtle of emotional ploys is your powerful need to be needed.

Your sensitivity, gentleness, shrewdness and delicacy can be beautifully expressed not only in the caring professions, but in business, family life, or a work of art. Although you need people, and need to be needed by them, you also long to retreat into solitude from time to time. It's those lunar phases again. Sometimes you simply have to withdraw in order to refresh your spirits and commune with those boundless imaginative depths. But you also need a lot of closeness and reassurance, and a cold atmosphere can be almost physically painful for you when you want to be close to someone.

Yours is a complex personality. You're instinctively secretive, yet always compassionate and responsive to others' unhappiness. You're capable of being snappish and irritable when the mood is on you, yet you're also able to brim over with joy, warmth, and sheer wild unbridled fun. Sometimes Cancers have to wait a long time before their real creative potential is realised. But the creative fruit you'll bring forth is worth waiting and working for.

The Taurus partner

Taurus is a very physical sign. It's a rare Taurean who doesn't possess a strong, intense desire nature. Even Taureans who fear intimacy (perhaps because they've been badly hurt in early life) will still display their innate sensuousness - through affectionate touching and an intense response to anything that's nice to touch, beautiful to look at, pleasant to hear, delicious to taste or lovely to smell. The Bull loves beauty, and can be astonishingly sybaritic. The ascetic approach doesn't go over well, unless you've found one of those more spiritually inclined Taureans (and there are quite a few around) for whom inner peace and serenity count for more than external comfort.

For many Taureans, the sexual side of love takes priority. Where there's good sex, Taurus remains. If Taureans choose to be faithful, they're very faithful. If they don't, they'll pursue their sensual pleasures on the side, enjoying themselves but never allowing such escapades to interfere with the stability of a solid relationship. Stability is really important to Taurus. But keeping a Taurus partner happy means you have to avoid sexual games of the now- you-can-have-me-now-you-can't variety. Your Taurean will simply find someone more available.

The Taurus partner can be very romantic. It's good old storybook romanticism, because this sign can be very conventional, and the old time-honoured rituals and ways work best. Taureans keep their promises, don't promise unless they're sure, and aren't sure until they've checked all the facts, including your bank balance and the history of your family. No, that may not seem very romantic. But Taurean romanticism, although sometimes outweighed by common sense, is genuine. They really believe in engagement rings, white wedding dresses and honeymoons. The Taurus partner remembers birthdays and anniversaries, and expects you to remember as well.

Taureans like to give real, solid gifts to demonstrate their love. This is both flattering and reassuring, even when the gift is something frighteningly useful (like an ironing board or a new cordless drill). If you're the more emotive type who craves a flamboyant verbal outpouring of affection, remember that expressing real, raw feelings doesn't come easily to this cautious, sensible sign. If you get too insistent with your demands, that Taurean contentment will slide into a deep, smouldering discontent.

Often a strong sense of responsibility, coupled with a deep need for security, will keep the Taurus partner in a relationship which has long since lost its charm. Taureans can be poignantly gentle, tender and affectionate. They don't get angry easily. Push them too hard, though, or destroy their serenity with too many emotional crises, and you'll be astonished at just how volcanic Taurean anger can be.

You may have heard about the famous Taurean possessiveness. This is indeed a possessive sign, and the Taurus partner will often demonstrate this in public by physical gestures of the property-ownership variety. Choose another sign if you want a detached, cool, unpredictable or "open" sort of relationship - unless you're prepared to enjoy an intermittent affair and can accept the fact that your Taurean lover has a steady relationship at home.

For loyalty and steadfastness, no one beats a Taurus. For calmness verging on complacency, too, no one beats a Taurus. So, although keeping the Taurus partner insecure is not a good idea, periodically introducing new elements into your life together can help to keep things alive and moving.

Taureans are often attracted to fiery temperaments who possess the daring, childlike abandon, imagination and rashness that they themselves don't dare express. While they need stability, they also need inspiration. Most importantly, they need to know they're needed and useful. If they know you rely on them, they will always offer generous support and protection, and the great inner strength that allows them to cope so tirelessly and serenely with the ordinary problems of life.

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HONEST TRAITS/PERSONALITY

The Cancer/Ox

Unusual creative talent characterizes the Cancer born in an Ox year. Moreover, they persevere to develop their artistry to the fullest. Famous geniuses abound in this sign. A refined sexuality combines tenderness with strength. Major people with major gifts.

THE RELENTLESS CREATIVE

It is no coincidence that many, many famous and respected artists of all sorts were born under the twin signs of Cancer and Ox. Here is the personification of determination. The profound sensitivity of Cancer coupled with the Ox's down-to-earth strength of purpose creates in this creature an emotional forcefulness unparalleled anywhere else in the new zodiac. This person always tries harder. The Ox side of this subject's character endows him or her with formidable powers of tenacity and innovation. Cancer lends even more creativity and adds a hefty dose of feeling to the cocktail. These folks go after what they want with acute single-mindedness. For a Cancer/Ox a task is a chore is a rule is a religion! What must be accomplished must be, and there are no two ways about it, no shortcuts, and no tricky escape routes. This often famous person's sex life is of the utmost importance to them. Yet, he or she maintains a discreet distance from prying press and flashing paparazzi. Intimacy, to this busily creative person, is just that. Intimate. Private. Secret and oh-so sensuous.

Cancer diminishes some of the Ox's assets such as reliability and
determination. If they are not careful, Cancer/Oxen may never achieve
their goals. Cancer can make the Ox touchy but deep down they are very sensitive. These Oxen are generally clever with money. One finds you very easy to live with - you've much gentleness, an accommodating character, and good will in daily life. You're also merry and obliging. You may sometimes happen to be in the clouds, a little muddleheaded, but you succeed in making yourself forgiven everything.

You're very much attached to family and traditions and don't bear that those whom you love be harmed. Having much affective memory, you're gifted for bringing joy and good humour to those around you.

Your destiny is often dominated by hazard and marked with dramatic turns of events, but you generally succeed in preserving your comfortable and cosy situation — for it should not be forgotten that chance never moves too far away from you, especially if you're a woman.

Loving beautiful things, you can do well in an artistic career or antiques. You're gifted for music and literature. With your love of good living, all that's related to food can also bring you financial gains. And with your saving penchant and your need to accumulate possessions, you've the possibility to give yourself a beautiful fortune.

Sentimental, passionate, sensual, you love love and can't do without it. But your actual happiness can find itself only within the framework of stability, in a home which is united and full of children. You must beware of certain tendency to affective blackmail.



We will feel the yoke of responsibility coming down on us this year.

Way-out fashions, abstract art forms and newfangled notions will be given an impassive stare by the phlegmatic Ox, while politics and diplomacy will simply be treated with indifference. Better stick to routine and support conservative policies. Frivolities are out!

This year will no doubt bear fruit, but the motto is: "No work, no pay!" Time waits for no man; if we are too lazy to sow then we can blame no one if we have nothing to reap. We will find a great many things requiring our attention, and the list of what needs to be done will seem endless. The Spartan influence of the Ox will be a constantly cracking whip over our heads. Better to apply oneself diligently than waste time arguing with the authorities. They will prevail, as the year of the Ox favors discipline.

Most conflicts this year will arise more from a lack of communication and refusal to give in on small technicalities than anything else. But hang on and be patient. Everything will be sorted out and we will be rewarded for our efforts--so long as we remember to do things the conventional way. This is no time for tricky shortcuts.

For the rebels, it may be worthwhile to point out that although the stoical Ox is soft-spoken, he carries a big stick, and this is his year.
No success can be achieved without conscientious efforts. The trials and tribulations the Ox year brings will be mainly on the home front. It is a good time to settle domestic affairs and put your house in order.

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THE OX PERSONALITY

The Ox or the Buffalo sign symbolizes prosperity through fortitude and hard work. A person born during this year will be dependable, calm and methodical. A patient and tireless worker, he sticks to routine and conventions. Although he is generally fair-minded and a good listener, it is difficult to make him change his views as he is stubborn and often has strong prejudices.

Still, because of his steady and trustworthy character, the Ox person will be entrusted with positions of authority and responsibility. He will not fall short where duty calls. As a matter of fact, he should be careful not to get carried away. Beneath his somewhat modest but neat appearance, the Ox shields a resolute and logical mind. His intelligence and dexterity is hidden by the reticent and undemonstrative front. But in spite of being basically an introvert, his forceful nature can turn him into a commanding and eloquent speaker when the occasion arises. In times of turmoil, his presence of mind, refusal to be intimidated and innate self-confidence will restore order. He walks with his head held high.

A person born under this particular sign is systematic. He adheres to fixed patterns and has great respect for tradition. In fact, he tends to do exactly what is expected of him and is so predictable, that he may be unfairly criticized for a lack of imagination. But the dutiful Ox knows that only through doing things in their proper order can he hope to achieve lasting success. His is the uncluttered mind. You won't find him muddling through life depending on his luck to pull him through. What people born under the other signs may accomplish by guile and wit, the Ox-born will by sheer tenacity and dedication. You can rely on his promises; once he gives his word, he will stick by it. Public opinion means little to him. He will apply himself wholeheartedly to whatever task he is doing and finish the job. He detests loose ends.

The Ox can be terribly naive about affairs of the heart. He cannot fully comprehend the entrapments of love, much less employ enticing strategy and other allures to plead his romantic cause. Don't expect lyric poetry and moonlight serenades from him. He just doesn't have the right chemistry for these sort of things. Even his presents are likely to be strong and durable wares: unpretentious and long lasting.

Because they are traditionalists, the Ox man and woman will also be inclined to long courtships. It takes time for them to develop intimate relationships. They are slow to warm up and reveal their true feelings. The Ox man may be a knight of the most distinguished order, a gentleman of the highest caliber, but he can turn into a fumbling, tongued-tied lad when it comes to wooing his fair maiden.

But if you marry him and place your trust squarely on his shoulders, he will never disappoint you; he will stick by you faithfully all his life. You never need worry about the rent or the bills getting paid. He may not keep you in diamonds and furs but life will be as comfortable as he can make it and you will never be in need.

If you have the good fortune to marry an Ox lady, you sure picked the no-nonsense type of girl. She'll starch your collar just the way your mother does it, fold your newspaper neatly on the breakfast table every day without fail and poach your eggs to perfection. Even that "good morning" kiss may seem like nothing more than a dutiful peck now and then. But if you think of her as being boring or too set in her ways, consider this. She is neat and punctual. You will never go through married life without clean shirts or holes in your socks or having to eat burnt dinners. Honest, hardworking and above reproach, she will make an ideal wife. The checkbook will be balanced and your joint account never overdrawn. It's up to you to liven up her life and take the lead. After all, the Ox person usually performs more than his or her share. A lot of wonderful things come wrapped in plain brown paper. The Ox is one of them. Don't ever belittle the packaging. He is worth his weight in gold.

Aside from his many sterling qualities, the Ox person is also known to nurture grievances far too long. He has a long and exacting memory, and injuries can be registered down to their last detail.

Where other signs such as the Tiger, Rooster or Rat may complain vehemently when they are upset and the Sheep and Rabbit will sulk and become morose, the Ox will react by plunging himself into hard work to alleviate his misery and tension. If severely disappointed in love, he may bury himself in his work forever and lead a solitary existence instead of running the risk of ever being humiliated or rejected again.

The Ox will insist on settling his accounts. Debts will be paid to the last decimal point. If he owes you something he will never forgive himself if he doesn't show his gratitude in a tangible way. No profuse but empty phrases of appreciation from him. He considers flowery words and lavish flattery uncouth and beneath his dignity. But won't it come as a surprise to you when you find out that that gruff fellow, who barely managed to mumble a "Thank you," left you something in his will? Well, that's a typical Ox gesture for you. If anyone's actions speak louder than his words--his do.

Beware of the Ox's legendary patience, because when an Ox person loses his temper, he is really something to reckon with. It could be a terrifying experience. There will be no reasoning with him: he will act like a bull and attack anyone in his path. The only advisable thing to do is to get out of his way until he cools off. By and large, however, he is seldom given to such taxing display of fireworks unless he finds his situation truly unbearable.

At home, his word is law. He knows how to give orders as well as follow them. And he expects his directives to be carried out to the letter. He has a materialistic outlook on life, and although he may be inordinately fond and proud of his family, he demands a lot from them, too. He will use the yardstick of success and personal achievement to measure his love for them. Even though he is not easily moved by emotions, he is a good provider and is capable of great sacrifices for his family's welfare. When and where it really counts, he will not let them down.

An Ox person will always be an asset to his firm and family. He has no reason to feel insecure himself as he will be well cared for all his life. Reason dictates that one so valuable should not be left to fend for himself.

The Ox born during the day will be more aggressive and active compared to the quiet night ox. Similarly, the winter Ox will have more trying times and a leaner life than the summer Ox.

The native of this lunar sign is a down-to-earth type and will follow his head rather than his heart. So if you want to win your case, appeal to his reason and intelligence. Make a list of the pros and cons and support every request with pertinent and reliable data. Sentiments alone rarely make him change his mind. He also has a remarkable constitution and does not get sick easily. Proud and uncompromising, the Ox is disdainful of weakness in others. If he can learn to cultivate more humor and compassion, he will be much happier.

A natural-born leader and disciplinarian, he tends to be too rigid. Likely to be a self-made man, he staunchly believes everyone should pull his own weight--and no hedging about it either. At his worst, the Ox is unapproachable, inflexible and narrow-minded. His lack of tact and consideration for others coupled with a militant view of life at times could make him unsuitable for positions involving public relations, diplomacy and finesse. However, he is respected and liked for his basic honesty, unpretentiousness and steadfast principles. He inspires loyalty in all his subordinates, as no task is beneath him.

As mentioned earlier, the Ox person is not one who will go for the shortcuts. His quiet dignity and strong morals will prevent him from resorting to unfair means to achieve his goals. He will dislike asking others for help. As a matter of fact, he is so self-reliant, that you may have to beg him to accept a service.

The Ox-born has dynastic tendencies. Careful and conscientious, he builds things to last. This sturdiness in his genes will extend to his offspring and generations to come even if they are not born under the same sign. His excellent character makes him an empire builder. He will take all precautions to ensure the prosperity and survival of his lineage.

As the paterfamilias, he will lay down the laws pontifically and stand for no youthful rebellion. He builds his life around his home, his work and his country and will always prefer long-term, stable investments. Being a strict creature of habit, he is no gambler: risks and razor-thin margins unnerve him because they endanger his deep-felt need for security.

Of all the twelve signs, the colorful Rooster will bring the sunshine into the Ox's orderly life and make a splendid partner for him. Both have high respect for authority, admire efficiency and possess strong dedication to duty. These common attributes will unite them. Equally well suited will be the affectionate Rat or the wise Snake, both of whom will care deeply for the worthy Ox. Dragon, Rabbit, Ox, Horse, Boar and Monkey will also be compatible to a lesser degree with the Ox. But the Dog may find him too bland and criticize his lack of humor; the Ox himself will not care too much for the company of the capricious Sheep or the rebellious Tiger native, who in turn will resent his regimentation.

Whatever happens, one can be sure that the success enjoyed by the Ox will have been earned by his own merits. In short, the strong and disciplined Ox does not expect and will not be getting any free rides in life. This stalwart fellow will emerge a winner through his own efforts and no one should be more deserving.



Crabs live in the inter-tidal zone of the oceans, where tides rise and fall twice every day. This is the most dynamic and changeful place on earth, but also the most nutrient rich. Because of the constant change, Cancer have developed a hard outer shell for protection. Cancer can use the hard outer shell of your home as your protection. But it's more than just that. Typically, your sensitive Cancer can hold your feelings quietly behind your own walls.

Crabs also have large pinching claws, and Cancer can hold onto things, especially from the past. Cancer are fiercely loyal and have a difficult time letting go. But Cancer are also quick to bring those you love inside the safety of your outer shell while you nurture them. Cancer love is protective, but unless tempered, can be smothering.

Cancer motto could be, "A good defense is the best offense." Like a Crab in its cave, your attack can consist of baiting your opponent into your territory. What appears to be a retreat to others can be your best aggressive tactic. As you feel your way through life, building your security by developing your home and family relationships, remember that unexpressed anger can turn into resentment and depression, so find someone you can trust and share your feelings.

Element: Water
Astrologically, the water element symbolizes emotion. Water runs deep; it seeks its own level and will flow until it has found it. The cycle of water is endless with the snows falling in the mountains and melting. The mountain streams join to make the great rivers that run to the sea. The tides and currents churn the oceans. Similarly, our feelings are flowing as they connect the present with past experiences. Sometimes the waters are so deep that we cannot put words to our feelings.

The water of Cancer is that of the changing tides. Regular rhythms that bring food and nurture the creatures who live there. But this is also about the water of a smoothly surfaced lake. No movement is apparent, yet beneath the surface there is movement, currents and much hidden activity.

Fourth House: Home and Family
The Fourth House is related to the mother. It is where we are nurtured, and takes in not only our real mother, but all those who nurture us -- especially early in life. This is the house of childhood surroundings. It is where we retreat from the noise of the outer world.

Key Planet: Moon
The Moon is always changing, not even the same two nights in a row. It races around the Earth once a "month," and as such we are familiar with her regularly repeating patterns. Women's menstrual cycles are naturally tied to the lunar rhythm, putting them in closer touch with the subconscious realms of the Moon. But to man and woman alike, the Moon is the key to our feelings and our emotional cycles. As the key planet of Cancer, the Moon symbolizes our basic needs -- how we need to be nurtured and how we nurture others.

Cancer Greatest Strength: Your ability to nurture others

Cancer Possible Weakness: Fear of the past repeating in the future

WORDLESS FRIDAY

This is me this is me this where you put me.....

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FED UP BY YOUR JEALOUSY TRIP.......

SO HELP ME GOD...give the strength to extend my patience. so help me god to be understanding, and be fair. help me god to find guidance, so help me god....may I not let my anger win over my heart. so help me god, to find the beauty of all this the purpose of all this. so help me god for the words that comes out of my mouth. so help me god to bless and be blessed. so help me god to accept the differences between me and him. so help god see the goodness of his doings. so help me god be a better and more flexible person towards him and him towards me. so help me god..........................




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QUOTES FROM GLITTER-GRAPHICS

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WHAT'S YOUR PARENTING STYLE

When it comes to
Shaping Their Character

You're
Specific Whether you're an earth mother or a PTA president (or both!), you're very concerned with setting specific expectations for your kids' behavior. You do this both by telling them what to do and acting as a role model, and, in general, you expect them to follow your careful guidance. As a parent, you think you should be very actively involved in fostering your children's growth, which includes determining what activities they should engage in – sports, tutoring, music, chores, art, yoga, whatever. When it comes to everything from family meals to manners and morals, you know what's best.

When it comes to
Making the Rules
You're

Democratic Your family's a democracy when it comes to setting rules and expectations. Above all, you're a flexible parent; you recognize that sometimes you have to adjust your standards according to circumstances. You prefer to have open discussions with your children about manners and morals and encourage them to discuss their feelings about family rules and restrictions. You'll always try to admit it to your kids when you make a mistake.
Strict No doubt about it: You're strict! In your opinion, kids need to be told what to do and how to do it. The approach you take to discipline is firm and direct. That's what's best for your kids, since being firm helps them understand who the boss is, and helps them respect and obey the important rules you establish. When your kids step out of line, you make sure there's an appropriate punishment - not that you enjoy punishing them, and you try never to be too harsh (or too lenient, for that matter). Parents who answered like you indicate that sometimes, spanking is an appropriate form of discipline.

When it comes to
Enforcing Discipline
You're

Strict
No doubt about it: You're strict! In your opinion, kids need to be told what to do and how to do it. The approach you take to discipline is firm and direct. That's what's best for your kids, since being firm helps them understand who the boss is, and helps them respect and obey the important rules you establish. When your kids step out of line, you make sure there's an appropriate punishment - not that you enjoy punishing them, and you try never to be too harsh (or too lenient, for that matter). Parents who answered like you indicate that sometimes, spanking is an appropriate form of discipline.

IS IT OKEY TO SPANK????

• 94% of 3- and 4-year-olds have been spanked at least once during the past year, according to one study.

• 74% of mothers believe spanking is acceptable for kids ages 1 to 3, says another study.

• 61% of parents condone spanking as a "regular form of punishment" for young children, according to a different study.

Clearly, the majority of parents say they spank their kids. Various factors increase the likelihood, including geographic location (children in the South are spanked the most), family income (less money means more spanking), race (African-American mothers spank their children more than other ethnic groups), and religion (parents more fundamentalist in their religious beliefs spank more than those who are less so). But all in all, it's a pretty clear picture.

Meanwhile, for decades a long and distinguished list of experts has denounced spanking as ineffective, even dangerous. Ineffective, they say, because it only teaches a child to fear his parents, not to respect them, and dangerous because using force can injure a child and warp his understanding of how to interact with others: namely, that it's okay to hit someone to get your own way. And experts warn that children who have this antisocial lesson beaten into them are more likely to exhibit violent behavior later in life.

So why is there still a massive disconnect between what experts advise and what parents do? Are so many of us clamping our hands over our ears to "hear no evil," or do we know something that experts don't?

Meaning what you say

Before you go dashing off letters to the editor, let's consider that most people don't agree on what spanking actually is. In Webster's, "spank" means "to strike on the buttocks with an open hand." A mission statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) describes it as "striking a child with an open hand on the buttocks or extremities with the intention of modifying behavior without causing physical injury." But if you ask ten moms and dads what spanking means, you may well hear ten different responses.

Researchers who gather spanking statistics often lump together parents who may smack a well-padded bottom with an open hand once a year with those who regularly reach for a brush or belt strap as discipline, and they combine those who may spank their child because it's "good for them" with those who've done it because they lost their temper. The only definition experts and parents do seem to agree on is that spanking entails hitting of some kind, and that abuse is never acceptable. (Those of you who believe spanking is abuse no matter how it's defined may now be excused to write your letters to the editor.)

There are any number of reasons that a parent might advocate or abhor spanking, but most influential is her own childhood experience. Christina Togni of Manassas Park, Virginia, can still recall her mother's threat with a wooden spoon. "When my two older brothers and I would do something wrong and hear the kitchen drawer open, we'd immediately head for the hills." Now the mom of a 6-year-old and a newborn, Togni says that she uses spanking only "when absolutely necessary." But unlike her mom, she doesn't issue empty threats. "When I say I'm going to do it, I do it." Jennifer Johnson, a mother of three in Haymarket, Virginia, also remembers fearing "the wrath of the paddle," which she believes was a good thing. She says that she now spanks her kids "when the crime meets the punishment," and feels that there would be fewer unruly children if more parents spanked. Other parents say that they learned a very different lesson from their spankings. Lisa Bacote, a mom of a 2-year-old and a 3-month-old in Atlanta, remembers the few spankings she received. "They were harsh!" she says. But the punishments didn't teach responsibility or obedience, she believes, as much as fill a reservoir of resentment that took years to drain. Her husband says that the spankings he received growing up taught him two things:

• How to lie ("I didn't do it")

• How to avoid getting caught.

Interestingly, whether an adult looks back in admiration or anger for being spanked, she rarely indicts her parent for doing it. "I understand that the spankings were fueled by my mother's frustration on those days," says Bacote. I, too, was spanked as a child, and I not only understand why I was spanked but I would probably have done the same thing. Once when I was yelling and acting like a complete jerk to my mom, she hit me, and I distinctly remember thinking, "Okay, I had that coming."

But that doesn't mean it's morally defensible to hit a child when the purpose is to "teach a lesson." "Why is it okay for an adult to hit a child when it isn't even acceptable for an adult to pick on someone his own size?" asks Murray Straus, Ph.D., professor of sociology and codirector of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire. "There have been plenty of times when my colleagues have disagreed with me or made me upset, but that doesn't give me the right to haul off and hit 'em."

In this case, whether or not an adult "deserves" to be smacked is a moot point. It's simply unacceptable (and will land the smacker in a lot of trouble). Why is it, then, that children might "deserve" a swat and receive one? Because we're big and they're small -- a morally and ethically indefensible reason.

Still, adults who were spanked as children often defend the practice by saying, "It didn't hurt me in the long run." But, says Straus, just because a well-adjusted adult was spanked as a child doesn't mean that spanking is a harmless act. "I could say, 'I smoked my whole life and I'm okay.' But that doesn't mean smoking isn't bad for you," he explains.

Experts cite stacks of research that link spanking to mental health problems such as depression and a range of antisocial behaviors that land kids in detention and adults in jail. Of course, not all spanked kids end up in prison. Not all smokers end their days hooked up to an oxygen tank, says Straus, but that doesn't mean that it's fine for parents to introduce their children to nicotine.

Yet for many parents, their own childhood experience is hefty enough to quash any amount of data or well-reasoned line of logic. This doesn't surprise Gary Hill, a clinical psychologist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University, in Evanston, Illinois. "There's a strong emotional connection to the childhood event," he says, "so parents who spank are often more righteous about it." He also notes that for some adults, it's impossible to blame their own parents for spanking because it would mean that they were somehow scarred by being spanked. Instead, they believe that they "deserved" what they got.

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In my own opinion:

I won't deny it, I have given my daughter a couple of spank on her bottom if she had done something wrong then explain to her after wards why I spanked her. I also hit her hand lightly if she has touched something or ruined something, nothing more and nothing less. What I have seen here in Philippines it is very normal a child who has done something wrong will get spanked as punishment. I have had those when I was a child. It was painful and really awful it affects ones self esteem. So I tried to correct that kind of discipline and I have tried very very hard to control myself. And I'm proud to say I'm doing well with it until now, and hopefully continue this kind of thinking in the future as well. So mommys, use your word not action, then your child will follow.


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WHY DAYCARE IS GOOD FOR YOUR KIDS???

1. It'll make him healthier. Sure, he's going to have the sniffles more often than a stay-at-home tyke. But the bugs he's exposed to may strengthen his immune system, which in turn may protect him from chronic conditions like allergies, asthma, and even leukemia. According to a new study from the University of California, Berkeley, kids who attend daycare are 30 percent less likely to develop the most common type of childhood leukemia. The researchers think the immune-system boost from the infections may be why.

2. It'll prep him for school. "Daycare centers are more stimulating and cognitively enriching than in the past," says Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph.D., an investigator for a recent National Institutes of Health study that found that at age 4, kids who'd been in daycare did better on literacy and number-skills tests.

3. It'll jump-start his social life. Daycare tots learn to be more cooperative and are more assertive than kids who stay home. Because they have to get along with lots of other children, they learn they don't always come first and how to make friends. A lesson always better learned sooner rather than later in life!

Back then when I lived in Denmark I had to take my eldest child to daycare, it was necessary for me to do that coz I worked from 9 to 3pm, I never had any regrets to take her to daycare the teachers or guidance there were really nice. polites and very diplomatic. They had many activities and they assigned 3 kids per caregiver, and I always had a contact person, someone who I could talk to about my Daughters progress, like learning to play with others, sharing, eating, and taking naps when I'm not there. And I could also see my daughter being more and more talkative, and more social. I really like the way they teach children to socialize, it is really important that your kid can get along with anyone or any kind of persons, they can learn to accept each others character. I am also planning this coming june to let her go to pre-school also because she shows so much interest in it. She likes me to buy her notebooks, uniform, pencils, coloringbooks and stuff. And in my situation right where I live and work a little too far away from them, I can depend on my grandmom to teach her the basic things like shapes colors numbers and letters, for my own personal reasons. As much as i like having her at home with me where I could be her teacher, I just don't have that kind of luxury. I'm a single mom if I stayed at home who's gonna provide for us right. So here I also learn to balance and organize mine and my kids lifestyle. Well soon I'll be with them again, I', just waiting for my salary to go up and have a financial security .




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MY TOP 10 BABY GEARS

top 10 on my list of baby gears
Being a ''on the go mom'' I would like to place these strollers as my 1st on the list.


nr 1

My choices are

phil and teds stroller
and maclaren stroller

I gave birth to my children in europe, Denmark to be exact. You know what it feels like to stand in babys r us infront of 100 different strollers and just stand there and think gosh what to choose. For my first child I chose to have an ordinary stroller. Then I got pregnant again and thought I wanna have something practical easy to fold easy to get around with and easy to manuver, well I found it my ideal partner in life Phil And ted. Itøs the best really the best stroller. My first daughter became Ate ( big sister) when she was 2 years old and I had to get around town with a small stroller but big enough for them both. I didn't have a car so I use public transportation that's why I had to have one of the most practical stroller in the world weel here it is. When my first daughter were old enough to walkto her daycare I had to buy the maclaren xxl in pink of course hehehe...




My eldest were so proud to show of her baby sis in this stroller. She would walk beside me or hold her sisters hand while we take a stroll. this is nice. I still have this here in Philippines. I love it's girly color and it's so easy to fold.

It's Built to last

It's as sturdy as lightweights get, has top-notch steering, and practically opens and folds on its own.

my 2 daughters love this gear. it's comfy and it lasts really the price of it is worth it.

the 2nd on my list ODDERS changingbag...


nice and fashionable, really oraganized inside. it's also termostate,it keeps the milk warm and on right temperature. on the other side it keeps the diapers amnd the wipes. It's not that expesive either, but damn worth the price.







3rd on my list baby fleece blanket


I remember my eldest daughter had a fleeceblanket she couldn't live without. When she was in bed or riding her stroller or even playing. she had this fleece blanket with her all the time. And she even reminds me to bring it along and everytime it was always put to use, when she fell asleep on our friends house where she had a hard time sleeping coz it's a new place well this blanket gave her sort of protection or comfort. I use it also for my second daughter she loves the feeling of it but isn't that much needy for it as her ate( big sis). This is one of my favorites too. even I started to crave for the fleece blanket hehehehe...the softness of it the smell of my baby, it really does comfort you hehehe.



number 4. mam multivent



the cutiest feeding bottles ever, mama multivent is really so fashionable goes with the child's clothes even your own clothes, I have like 20 of these in purple and in pink hehehe...collections huh? hehehe....





nr 5 avent

perfect in design, perfect for your child, perfect so perfect. This is my second daughters favorite bottle, i ended up buying like 10 of these bottles I love it.











nr 6. avent breast pump



the best breast pump ever











nr 7 tripp trapp stokke high chair

Designed to provide the correct ergonomic support for your child when seated, TRIPP TRAPP® enables your child to sit at the family table and interact with you and other family members.

The unique adjustability of TRIPP TRAPP® in both seat and footrest height and depth adapts to your child as they grow to ensure that your child sits comfortably at all times.

oh see it's the best hehehehe

nr 8.

babybjørn carrier, the most comfortable carrier ever. very useful.












nr 9 activity blanket


fisher prize winnie the pooh activity blanket












nr 10

fisher prize jumperoo


I had this for my eldest daughter, i always had her there when i needed to get things done at home, like cleaning or taking a bath or cooking she loved being there jumping to music she loves on mtv or her favorite video Sarah Geronimo...


















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IS 3 WORSE THAN 2?

When your 3-year old's tantrums are driving you crazy

Little kids sure can create big scenes! No matter how sweet your child is or how good a parent you are, meltdowns are a fact of toddler life. So try to remember that your child's tantrums aren't a reflection of your parenting skills: They simply mean you've got a frustrated little kid on your hands. Here's how to handle them without losing your cool.

I think we parents have experience our child's tantrums every now and then. You're in denial if you say you haven't. Really mommy it's okey to admit that your child has a behaviour you just can seem to control by time to time. Well let's just say I'm very glad to know about parenting.com, there are some articles there where you can have some tips how to handle these kinds of behaviour....

let's see how shall we???

Though 2-year-olds get pegged with the "terrible" label, 3-year-olds can actually be more challenging. Tactics that once calmed them may no longer work, and they can now throw fits for longer periods of time, thanks to an increased attention span.

Your child's new tantrums may drive you crazy, but there's a silver lining: "They mean she feels self-sufficient," says Sharon Bergen, a senior vice president at KinderCare Learning Centers. To nurture this independence while still keeping control:

Pick your battles. If she balks at wearing shoes when you're going out, make it nonnegotiable. If she wants to wear party shoes and you'd prefer sneakers, skip the fight.
Limit her choices. Letting her decide which of three travel games to bring in the car gives her enough power that she likely will cave on her demand to lug the dollhouse along.
Be consistent. Part of the thrill of acting out is seeing your reaction. If it's always the same -- calmly standing your ground -- your kid will become less interested in testing you.

What causes tantrums

It may seem like your child's having a meltdown for no reason (or for a silly one). But there are real causes:

Toddlers can't express themselves very well. Your 2- or 3-year-old may know a lot of words, but he doesn't yet have the ability to construct complex sentences -- or put words to all the emotions he's feeling. That's why instead of saying, "Mom, I'd really like orange juice with my toast, but only in the red cup because it looks weird in the blue one," he screams bloody murder when you gave him apple juice in the blue cup.

They are easily overwhelmed. Toddlers thrive on routine, and a change can really throw them off. That means that adding in an extra errand or missing naptime by even 15 minutes can spell disaster. Certain places, like busy stores, can be overwhelming, too.

They want to do more than they can handle. Toddlers are naturally very curious -- and are thrilled to discover they can suddenly do so many things on their own. Unfortunately, your child's physical prowess doesn't keep pace with his curiosity, so he gets frustrated when the block tower falls or he's not allowed to climb the kitchen stool.

They don't understand delayed gratification. Little kids live in the here and now, not in our cookies-are-for-after-dinner world. Not getting what they want, when they want it, is a top tantrum producer.

They think they're the center of the universe. In the me-me-me life of a toddler, no one else's needs matter as much as his own. That's why sharing is so difficult.

Defusing tantrums

Acknowledge that she's frustrated. Your best first defense is to look your child in the eye and let her know you feel her pain. By saying "I know you want a cookie," or even just "I know you're upset," you're telling her you're there to help her feel better. That might be enough to calm her down so you can add, "I wish we could have cookies, too. It's too bad we can't right now."

Be silly. Laughter can be a great tantrum buster. If your child starts to pitch a fit about getting into the tub, try singing a goofy song -- anything to make her giggle.

Try a distraction. Give her something else to think about. Try saying, "Let's finish shopping by picking out bananas together." Or if it's time to leave the park, but she doesn't want to, "How many dogs do you think we'll see on the drive home?"

Ignore it. Sometimes, tantrums escalate because your toddler thinks she'll get what she wants if she screams loud enough. If you don't react, she may give up.

Leave the scene. When all else fails, get out of line, off the slide, whatever. But do it without making a fuss -- you'll be modeling calm behavior. It may be inconvenient, but it shows who's in control: you.

Preventing meltdowns

Avoid the triggers. Try to figure out what sets your child off. Does he lose it when he's hungry or tired? When he's in the car seat for longer than 20 minutes? Plan ahead to stave off tantrums: Carry a snack, make sure he's rested, or stop for a break between errands.

"For meltdowns, I point my daughter to a 'tantrum place' -- like the bathroom -- so she can scream all she wants. She gets over it quickly, and then she can have fun!"
-- Debbie Granick, St. Louis

Submit your tantrum tip!

Offer options. When toddlers feel overwhelmed, they need your help, but they still want to have a say in things. That's why offering two options (more is just confusing) can prevent a meltdown. Try saying, "Would you like to see the polar bears or the monkeys?" instead of "Which animal do you want to see first at the zoo?"

Give fair warning. If you have to tear your child away from something fun or drag him somewhere he'll hate, preparation can nip frustration in the bud. Say, "We're going to go home after one more trip down the slide." Little kids are more likely to behave if they know ahead of time what they can and can't do.

Show your child how you want him to act. Since one reason kids scream is that they don't know what else to do, teach your child to use words to express himself. Good ones to start with: "Can you help me?" and "Excuse me." The more specific you can be with your own requests, the better. Telling your child you want him to "be good" isn't really informative. Instead, tell him you want him to ask for things in a quiet voice.

Summary

Toddlers have tantrums because they're frustrated or overwhelmed, not because they want to make you crazy. Understanding the underlying cause can help you both get through a tantrum.

I have practiced these things with my eldest much, well let's just say she's sorry for having a very consistent mom hehehehe. She has learned that when I say no it really does mean NO that's nonnegotiable. And if there are fights what shoes to wear I give her choices put it in front of her and that's it. I don't like to make things complicated with my children I like it when they demand what to eat, I'll no doubt cook her that if I haven't already cooked. That's how things work for me. When itøs nap time well that 's nonnegotiable either. When she and and her sister are finished playing with their toys well they know what to do with it afterwards-correct put it back on its proper places. I guess I'm just giving them what I have learned by my grandmom, she has raised me well and I take my hat off for that. She's my wonderwoman. hail to moms/grandmoms weeeheeeey....





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DOES YOUR CHILD HAVE ASTHMA???

My youngest daughter have asthma and had pneumonia once where she has been admitted for 10 days in a hospital, ever since I have been very much aware how to make things easier for her and to avoid her for having her asthma attacks. here are some tips I've read in parenting.com...




Why spotting asthma can be tricky

Given how dramatic asthma symptoms are, you'd think it'd be a snap to diagnose. That's often not the case, especially in kids under 5. "As many as half of children have at least one episode of wheezing before age three, but after that most never wheeze again," says Paul Williams, M.D., clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Washington. In fact, only 15 to 20 percent of kids who wheeze go on to have lifelong asthma. Plus, very young children can't adequately perform spirometry, which requires patients to blow as hard and as long as they can into a meter; it's usually not till they're 5 or 6 that kids can do the test, which can accurately diagnose asthma, says Dr. Williams. In the meantime, you can get a pretty good sense of your child's risk by using the Asthma Predictive Index, which we've adapted into the "Risk Checker" at right. So grab a pen and see how your sweetie's symptoms stack up.

Risk checker

1. Has your child had frequent wheezing before age 3 (four or more episodes in one year that lasted longer than a day and disrupted sleep)?

2. Does she have at least one of these major risk factors?

* she has a parent or a
* sibling who has asthma
* she has eczema
* she's tested positive on tests for airborne allergens

3. Does she have at least two of these minor risk factors?

* she has allergic rhinitis
* she wheezes even when she doesn't have a cold
* she has a food allergy, especially to eggs, milk, or peanuts

If you answered yes to the first question along with at least one other, there's about a 76 percent chance your child's symptoms will persist through grade school. Meanwhile, 95 percent of kids who have only one yes (or none) will likely not develop asthma after age 6. Great news!


Anatomy of an attack

1. An irritant, allergen, or virus makes its way to the lungs from the upper respiratory tract.

2. The immune system kicks into gear, producing antibodies and other substances to fight it off.

3. These immune chemicals trigger two big, simultaneous changes: The lungs' airways begin to constrict, causing spasms, and they also become inflamed, which leads to further swelling and mucus production.

4. As the room for air decreases, kids begin breathing very deeply to get oxygen. But then they struggle to release it. So as a sufferer forces air back out through the swollen tubes, a whistling -- or wheezing sound -- occurs. Depending on the severity, kids may also experience shortness of breath, rapid breathing, or chest tightness. In babies, you may also see the muscles under or between their ribs pulling in. Any of these signs means it's time to get help ASAP.

5 Common Asthma Triggers and How to Beat Them

The goal is control

Despite the fact that asthma has the potential to be so well managed that it becomes practically a nonissue, it's still grossly undertreated, says Bradley Chipps, M.D., pediatric pulmonologist and allergist at Capital Allergy and Respiratory Disease Center in Sacramento, CA. "Number one, physicians often view asthma as an episodic disease," says Dr. Chipps. "They just do crisis intervention and aren't seeing patients back on a regular basis." In fact, only 20 percent of moms said their doctors discussed asthma control with them regularly, according to a recent survey by the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America (AAFA). But pediatricians aren't the only ones to blame: "Adherence to therapy is miserable," says Dr. Chipps. "The average refill rate of controller medications is two to four refills per year. If you're taking them every day, the refill rate should be twelve."

The secrets to getting asthma under control: First, ask your doctor for a written asthma action plan. Consider it your customized road map to your child's medication as well as to all the lifestyle strategies that will help you help him avoid his triggers. The second step is to find the best mix of medicines for your child -- and then use them as directed. Get an idea of the typical treatment plans on the next page.


Treatment, simplified

Most kids with asthma will need medication. Some may require it every day, while others need it only during cold or allergy season. The meds may come in liquid form to use in a nebulizer, a machine that turns them into a mist, or in a traditional inhaler. Either way, our cheat sheet tells you what to expect if your child has...

ANY TYPE OF ASTHMA

What she'll need: A bronchodilator like albuterol or Xopenex (often called a rescue drug)

Why: These drugs can instantly open the airways during an attack. Unless your child has exercise-induced asthma, it's not intended for daily use. If your kid relies on it more than twice a week, it's a clear sign her symptoms aren't controlled.

What to watch for: Tremor, palpitations, sense of nervousness, or hyperactivity

INTERMITTENT ASTHMA OR CHRONIC ASTHMA

What she'll need: A low-dose corticosteroid, such as Flovent, Pulmicort, or Alvesco

Why: Inhaled corticosteroids reduce airway inflammation long-term. About two thirds of children in this category will have good control using one every day. Same goes for kids who flare only during certain times of the year; the drug protects them through their danger zone and then they can stop.

What to watch for: Short-term, some kids may have upset stomach, oral thrush, and body aches. Long-term, daily use of inhaled corticosteroids may slightly slow their annual growth rate, a side effect that's thought to be reversible when children stop taking the drug.

SEVERE CHRONIC ASTHMA

What she'll need: An anti-leukotriene such as Singulair or Accolate and/or a long-acting beta agonist (LABA)

Why: If corticosteroids alone aren't working, an anti-leukotriene can block the chemicals that are further fueling airway swelling and spasms. Those who are still suffering may need to add an LABA, such as Serevent or Foradil, which are longer-lasting bronchodilators.

What to watch for: Upset stomach, cough, dizziness, drowsiness, ear pain or infection, swelling of the mouth or throat. The FDA is also investigating a possible association between the use of anti-leukotriene medications and behavior/mood changes.




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